In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
Sample Response
These days a lot of parents worry about their children’s independenceindependent behaviours. In fact, it was customary for young people to leaveit was a custom that youth leave their homes after they got marriedafter they married in many countries but at present, the custom mentioned has changedmentioned custom has changed and young people build their own livesmake their own life because of other different purposes such as study or work. While there are some disadvantages to this new trendsome disadvantages on this new behaviour trend, the advantages are greateradvantages are more considered and so, this essay has tried to cover the reasons.
In the past, it was defined that everyoneanyone should marry and young people livedlive with their parents to save money and increase their abilities to make their own families. It was logical that they didn't separate from their parents as they saw marriage as their main life goalspecified marriage as their life goal and according to those days' lifestyle, living with parents was preferred by young people and was beneficial.
But nowadays, young people have a new perspective on lifeyouth have a new perspective of life. In other words, they do not believe that marriage is the most important goal in life and they should be independent as soon as possible to have the lifestyle they wantto have their interested lifestyle. Therefore, new targets have been replaced and young people no longer stay with their parentsyouth not only do stay with their parents until they are married, but they go to other cities or countries to work or study. In fact, it createsmakes a good opportunity for young people to be independent and help them to understand the meaning of life including its difficulties and ups and downs.
I think, therefore, parents always want their children to obtainparents always want that their children obtain living skills and perhaps, allowing them to be separated for variousany reasons is the best way for this purpose and undeniably it would bring lots of advantages for young people.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response presents a consistent view that independent living is beneficial and supports it with relevant ideas about life skills and personal responsibility. However, it devotes too much space to past customs, barely develops the disadvantages, and is often awkward in expression. The highest-priority improvement is to compare one well-explained disadvantage with the advantages in clearly separated paragraphs before reaching a direct conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay gives a position that the trend has more advantages, but disadvantages are only briefly mentioned and not properly developed.
Explain at least one disadvantage, such as loneliness, financial pressure, or loss of family support, before arguing that independence is more beneficial.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is paragraphing and a general time contrast between past and present, but the argument relies heavily on background and has some unclear progression.
Use body paragraph one for disadvantages and body paragraph two for advantages, then compare them directly in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is relevant but often unnatural or imprecise, with repeated use of youth, custom, and independent.
Use phrases such as young adults, live independently, family support, study or work away from home, life skills, and financial responsibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in tense, articles, verb patterns, and sentence structure sometimes make meaning awkward, though the main idea remains clear.
Check past-tense background sentences and use correct patterns after want, allow, and help.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.