The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Sample Response
The line graph shows changes in the number of jobscompares the number of people employed in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020, measured in millions.
Overall, manufacturing was the sector with the most jobslargest employer at the beginning and peakedreached a high point in 1980 before declining. By contrast, retail and healthcare grew, with healthcare rising more sharplyretail and especially healthcare grew over the period, whereas agriculture declined and remained the sector with the fewest jobsagricultural employment fell and remained the smallest figure after 1980.
In 1960, about 15 million people worked in manufacturing, compared with roughly 6 million in both retail and agriculture. Manufacturing then rose to 20 million in 1980, while retail increased more gradually to 10 million. At the same time, agriculture dropped sharply to around 3 million.
After 1980, manufacturing decreased to approximately 17 million in 2000 and 13 million by 2020. Retail continued to expand, reaching 15 million in 2000 and about 16 million in 2020at the end, matching healthcare as the joint-largest sectormaking it the leading sector. Healthcare also showed a considerable rise, from only 2 million in 1960initially to 5 million in 1980, 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020. In comparison, agriculture stayed near 3 million until 2000 before falling to 2 million.
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a clear, well-organised report whose strongest feature is its accurate selection of trends and supporting figures from the graph. Its main limitation is the claim that retail was the leading sector in 2020, since retail and healthcare were actually level at about 16 million; the priority is therefore to make final comparisons fully precise and explicitly identify ties.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report provides a clear overview and accurately covers the principal trends and nearly all key figures and comparisons.
State that retail and healthcare were joint leaders in 2020 rather than describing retail alone as the leading sector.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into a clear overview and chronological detail paragraphs, with cohesive devices used smoothly and accurately.
Refine the final comparison so the concluding relationships among the four sectors are expressed even more directly.
Lexical Resource
A strong range of precise task vocabulary describes employment levels, rises, declines, peaks and comparisons naturally.
Extend the range of comparison language slightly, particularly for equal values and intersecting trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied simple and complex structures are handled accurately throughout, with clear control of clauses, agreement and punctuation.
Continue using this level of control while adding occasional more compact comparative structures where they improve precision.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.