A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Since the prehistoric eraSince prehistoric era, animals have been widely used by humans and in different ways to fulfil several needs. They have provided majormain sources of food, clothes, transportation and other tools largely used for the well-being of humankind. Yet in the modern world, animals still offer an efficient and indispensable meansmean for scientists to develop cutting-edge vaccineskilling edge vaccinations. Whether to ban the exploitation of animals in general or to continue profiting from them for the betterment of people's lives isstill a matter of dispute. I personally believe that the use of animals in our livesanimals' use in our lives should be strictly controlled.
In favour of securing the same rights as humans, some claim that animals should be treated in a moral and ethical way. They consequently demand that people stop slaughteringrequire to stop slaughtering sheep and cows, for instance, simply to provide edible meatto provision eatable meat. They additionally argue that though animals are driven by instinct rather than by reasonrather by brain like humans, they still are living creatures and should enjoy their lives in peace.
On the other handside, supporters of exploiting animals for the good of mankind regard their use as essentialevaluate their use in our lives as essential in different aspects. Firstly it is doubtful that humans could surviveit is suspicious that humans may survive by merely relying on plant-based sourcesby merely rely on vegetable sources of food even though this is not impossible.
Secondly, it would be quite impossible to keep the pace of development in medicine, especially to counter epidemic diseases, if we restrain the scientists from experimentingexperiencing on animals. However, testing each and every new drug on humans is unethical and inhuman.
To conclude, despite the unstoppable voices against the exploitation of animals, in general, it would not be easy for humans to evolve without utilising animals, however, humans should control this utilisation and regulate it firmly. Misusing animalsMiss using animals like in circuses, zoos or illegal competitions should be completely prohibited since those activities are solely aiming fun and mere financial benefits and disregarding animals' suffering.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response discusses both perspectives, presents a clear preference for controlled rather than prohibited animal use, and supports its view with relevant examples from food and medical research. Its main weaknesses are uneven development of the animal-rights case, several short or loosely connected paragraphs, and recurring awkward language. The highest priority is to develop the opposing view more fully, then link the argument smoothly while correcting inaccurate collocations and verb patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both views and gives a clear opinion that animal use should be controlled rather than banned, with relevant examples of food and research.
Develop the animal-rights side a little more before presenting the practical argument for limited use.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is clear, with an introduction, both sides, and conclusion, though some paragraphs are very short and linking could be smoother.
Combine or expand short body paragraphs and use clearer signposting between food, research, and entertainment uses.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is quite varied and topic-specific, but some word choices are inaccurate or awkward.
Refine collocations such as cutting-edge vaccines, edible meat, rely on vegetable sources, conduct experiments on animals, and misuse animals.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a reasonable range of structures, but errors in articles, verb patterns, and clauses sometimes interrupt fluency.
Check missing verbs, prepositions, and gerund forms after by, from, and restrain.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
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