A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It has become a debatable topic about the exploitation of animals by mankind. Some people believed that animals should not be exploited and should be treated fairly by human beings. In contrast, others think animals should be utilised to assist humans in various kinds of ways, such as athe source of food or for medical testing. The following essay will discuss both views in detaildetails, but in my opinion, I believe that animals can be used as the source of food or to assist human beings in athe proportionate way and humanshuman should treat them properly.
On the one hand, a group of people believe that mankind does not have the rightrights to exploit animals, as they are also living creatures. It is true that animals live by following their instinct, but they have the same feelingsfeeling as human beings, therefore it would not be fair for mankind to exploit them. In several cases, it has been reported that some of the cows had cried before they were slaughtered in the slaughterhouse, which means that they also had the same feeling as human beings. In otheranother reported cases, some of the animals werewas treated poorly by their masters, though they had been exploited heavily and made them sick or injured.
On the other hand, it is undeniable that mankind needs the assistanceassistant of animals in various kinds of ways. Firstly, some animals are needed by humans to assist them in producing and providing foodfoods. In many countries, cows, buffalos or horses are used by farmers to cultivate their farming areas, and some farm animalsdairy farms animals such as chicken and sheep are slaughtered for their meats. Without the existence of these animals, there would be a humanitarianhumanity issue about the lack of food supplies and starvation for mankind. Secondly, some animals are used in certain scientific experiments or medical testing for the sake of humanity. Several new drugs are being tested in some mice or monkeys before they are being tested on human beings. Although it might seem inhumane,Although it might seem as an inhuman act, but these experiments have saved thousands of human lives.
In conclusion, people have different opinions about the exploitation of animals. Some people agree with the statement but others disagree with it. In my opinion, I think the employment or the usage of animals to help human beings is not a problem, as long as we exploit them in a proportionate way. For example, as many farmers use dogs to help them in the fieldas their assistant in their field and the dogs should be treated and fed properly.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear discussion of both ethical concerns and practical uses of animals, supported by a definite view that any use should be proportionate and humane. Its main limitation is that several examples are simplistic or questionable, and frequent language errors weaken precision. Prioritise defining what proportionate treatment means and support that position with one realistic ethical limit, using more natural phrasing and carefully checked grammar.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and a clear opinion is given. The response is relevant and developed, though some supporting examples are simplistic or questionable.
Strengthen the opinion by defining what proportionate use means and giving one realistic limit on animal use.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is clear and progression is easy to follow, though some referencing and linking phrases are repetitive.
Use more precise topic sentences and avoid repeating some people and on the other hand too mechanically.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range for the topic, but errors in collocation and word form reduce accuracy.
Use natural phrases such as animal welfare, humane treatment, food production, medical research, and ethical limits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted, but article, plural, agreement, and passive-structure errors occur regularly.
Check plural nouns after some of, agreement with animals, and avoid although plus but in one sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.