We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong within depending on computers. They play a major role in our daily life. Nowadays, parents want their childrenchild to study in a school thatwhich has smart classrooms. A smart classroom consistsSmart classroom consists of a projector, a laptop, or a palmtopa projector, laptop or palmtop for each child.
The use of computers in hospitalsUsage of computers at a hospital is vital because it helps the hospital management to keep track of every patient's medical history. Also, computers are used for electrocardiograms, echocardiograms, and many other testsused in Electrocardiogram test, Echo test and in many other tests which save millions of lives. Moreover, this cutting-edge technology is also used in many sports such assports like cricket, football and tennis. For example, in cricket, Hawk-eye technology is used to identify no-balls and leg-before-wicket decisionsfind No-ball and leg-bye wickets.
Furthermore, without computers, it would have been impossible for us to detectfind the presence of water on the moon. Consider satellites: theyConsider satellite- it plays a crucialhumongous role in telecommunicationsTelecommunication and without it human kind cannot think of communicating with overseas friends or relatives. My cousin is just six years old, but she is watching videos onin YouTube on her own, which implies that computers attract young childrenyounger generations. Though these advances in state-of-the-art technology havethis advent in "state of the art" technology has many advantages, they also have a few disadvantagesit also has few disadvantages. Nowadays, children are browsing adult contentcontents on the internet which will surely spoil them. Due to much advancement in technology, it makes a person lazy which is the potential cause of obesity, diabetes and many such diseases.
In spite of having a few disadvantageshaving few disadvantages, dependence on computers is more beneficialdependency on computers is more appreciable but it should be in limits. There should be an equilibrium between science and nature.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear general view that computers bring substantial benefits, and it supports this with several concrete examples from medicine, sport, and communication. Its main weakness is that most discussion concerns present-day uses, leaving the explicit question about future applications largely unanswered, while some examples drift from the central argument. The priority is to predict specific future uses and evaluate their implications directly, then organise the evidence around both task questions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position and several relevant benefits and risks are presented, but the required discussion of future computer uses is largely missing.
Address both questions explicitly by proposing specific future applications and explaining whether each strengthens or weakens the case for dependence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses through recognisable paragraphs and uses linking expressions, although the third paragraph combines several loosely connected ideas.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and arrange examples so that every sentence clearly advances that idea.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied enough to discuss technology and its effects, but several awkward collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace unnatural phrases such as dependency being appreciable or technology being in limits with standard, precise collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the meaning, despite recurring errors with articles, agreement, prepositions, and sentence construction.
Proofread systematically for articles and subject-verb agreement, especially in sentences containing long modifying clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.