Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Same questionCompare 7 different answers (Band 6–7)

Sample Response

1

It has been observed that cheerfulness is an integral part of our liveslife. However, it seems a herculean task to defineexpress it. Among the many reasonsOut of many reasons, the most prominent onethe prominent one is that it is a state of mind. There are many factors that people can consider to obtain happiness, such as maintaining a positive outlook and pursuing one’s favourite activitiessuch as a positive outlook, pursuing one’s favourite activities.

2

To begin with, joy is difficult to define because it is a state of mind. To elaborate, people react differently to the same thingact differently to each other about a thing. It depends on their perception. Healthy minds always have a positive outlook onfor anything, even when it is not to their likingwhich may be, in reality, is not their cup of tea. But with courage and confidencewith courage, confidence, they do not get depressed and always remain in a state of ecstasy. For instance, a glass that is filled with some water is considered half glass of water, but for others, it is full. Therefore, it depends on people’s perspectives and how they perceive thingsthe perspective of the masses, how they perceive anything. Moreover, some peoplemasses are not emotionally balanced, so they fail to expressget fail to express their contentment. They can only feel itThey just can feel it and show it by using a gesturewearing some kind gesture such as a smile.

3

On the other hand, there are many ways to get it. Firstly, developing a positive outlook can work wonders. If people think positivelypositive and avoid negativity, thennegativity; then, there are higher chances of achievinggetting success. A pessimistic outlook can only make people depressedmake people only depressed, and they would not try to be satisfied with their lot. Resultantly, they will overthinkdo overthinking, and this overthinking will become a root cause of their discontented life. To exemplify it, many people, after failing a job interview or an examgetting failed in any job interview or exam, stop makingdoing efforts to obtain their goals. Hence, they make lame excuses and curse their destiny. At the same time, the others who do not quit and their continued efforts bring the reward for them in the end.

4

To conclude, thus, it is apparent that although it is hard to express happiness due to the perception of people who is widely different from each other, it can be achieved by inculcating optimism for anything, which may be hard to get. Continuous attempts make a person winner and fill his/her heart with everlasting joy.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response addresses both questions and uses a clear paragraph structure, with relevant ideas about subjectivity, optimism, and persistence. Its main limitation is that explanations sometimes become repetitive or logically unclear, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer factors more clearly, using natural collocations and carefully controlled sentence structures.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.0
Scoring rule

Both parts of the task are addressed, and the main ideas are relevant, though support is sometimes repetitive, narrow, or insufficiently clear.

Next step

Explain two distinct factors for happiness with precise causal reasoning and examples that directly demonstrate each factor.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The response has a recognisable progression and appropriate paragraphing, but mechanical linking and repetition sometimes weaken the flow of ideas.

Next step

Use fewer formulaic transitions and ensure each sentence advances the paragraph's central claim instead of restating it.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Scoring rule

There is a reasonable range of vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make the expression unnatural and occasionally unclear.

Next step

Replace misused phrases such as do overthinking, get fail, and wearing some kind gesture with simple, idiomatic alternatives.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, clause construction, punctuation, and word forms reduce accuracy.

Next step

Prioritise accurate complex sentences by checking subject-verb agreement and removing unnecessary clause elements before adding further complexity.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

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