As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Sample Response
It is believed most adults' livesmost of the adults’ lives are spent in their workplace, therefore, many people thinktherefore many people think that job satisfaction is an important issue for theman essential matter for them. There are various factors that affect job satisfaction and the following essay will discuss in detaildetails about some of the factors, and whether the factors are realistic or not.
There are several factors that influencesome points that influence job satisfaction. Firstly, many employees believe that they are satisfied with their careers since the tasks match their passionthe tasks are in accordance with their passions. They think that the work that they are currently doing is aligned with their talents and they are performing well. Secondly, some employees believe that they would be satisfied with their jobs if they are paid with the expected compensation and benefits. They are being realistic that salary is also a drivertrigger to their work performance. LastlyAnd lastly but not least, a lot of people believe that a conducive working environment would also affect job satisfaction.
Some people are idealistic peoplepersons and they are willing to work hard in the task that is in accordance with their talent. This kind of thought is realistic since working is not just being paid, but it should also be meaningful and satisfying. As for the compensation and benefit, it is a fact that human beingskinds are never satisfied with their salary and total earnings. The idea that employees would be satisfied with their jobs if they are paid high is just not realistic. Salary would only satisfy them for a certain amount of time and after that, they will ask for more. And as for the conducive working environment, it would be difficult to find the ideal environment. Every workplace has it has its own unique cultureits owned unique culture and style; therefore the workers should adapt and adjust themselves to the working environment.
In conclusion, it is true that adults are spending a lot of their time at work, therefore jobjobs satisfaction is an important thing. There are several factors that contribute to job satisfaction, but some are realistic while others are just not.
[ Essay by - Darwin Lesmana]
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is that it addresses both parts of the question with relevant discussion of passion, pay, and the working environment. Its main limitation is that the analysis of whether universal job satisfaction is realistic remains simplified, while formulaic progression and recurring language errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop a more nuanced argument using clear topic sentences and realistic factors such as management quality, economic conditions, and individual expectations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both parts of the question and gives relevant factors such as passion, pay, and work environment. The discussion of realism is present but sometimes simplified, especially around salary and workplace culture.
Develop the realism part with more nuanced reasons, such as economic conditions, management quality, and individual expectations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Progression is generally logical, but several transitions are formulaic and some ideas are grouped more by listing than by argument development.
Use topic sentences that preview the argument of each paragraph and make the links between factors and realism clearer.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, with some useful phrases such as conducive working environment and compensation and benefits. Repetition, word form errors, and unnatural collocations reduce precision.
Replace repeated forms of satisfied and factor with more precise language, and check common collocations around work, pay, and benefits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is used, and meaning is mostly clear. However, article use, plural forms, prepositions, and sentence boundaries are frequent weaknesses.
Proofread for plural nouns, articles, and comma splices before adding more complex phrasing.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.