Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Cristiano Ronaldo, David Beckham, Tiger Woodswoods are some famous sports professionals who earn a great deal. The reason behind these great deals is the constant media attention they receiveattention on them. However, it is true that they do not contribute too much to societyto a society like doctors and scientistsscientist. Sports professionals who earn a great deal of money are hard workersare the hard workers in their respective fieldsfield. They make every effortuse all their efforts for the success of their own careerssuccess of their one and of their teams. The person with real talent in the field are very few that is why they worth the deal. Moreover, a playerEven more, A player has a short career and he is tested during that period bytested in that period with the intense competition in their respective fieldsmassive competition on the respective field. The pressure of media is intense and there is little privacy in their livesno privacy in their life. So, this can also justify the huge earnings. However, sports professionals do not contributeSports professional does not contribute more to the society. Other high profile professionals like doctors make a great contribution to the society by treating sick and injured people. Furthermore, scientists who work for the new invention and climate change also contribute more for the society. If we favour these points then they must have a great deal of money. However, the salaries of sports professionalssalary of sports professional is not determined by the percentage they contribute to society. Personally, I think the large sums of money that sports professionals receivemega deal of money sports professional received is more justified than the huge earnings of the movie stars. This also points out the greater importance and value of sportsimportance and value of sports than that of other professionsthan on other professions and achievements.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its recognition of credible arguments on both sides, including athletes’ short careers and the greater social contribution of doctors and scientists. Its main limitation is that the final opinion compares athletes with movie stars instead of clearly judging whether their pay relative to other important professionals is fair. Prioritise stating a direct verdict on that comparison and organising each view in a separate paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views receive relevant support, but the writer’s own opinion does not directly resolve the comparison in the question and the final reasoning is unclear.
State explicitly whether athletes’ higher earnings than doctors and scientists are justified, then support that judgment with a clear principle such as market demand or social value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a broadly recognisable sequence, but the single-paragraph format, repeated “However,” and absence of a clear conclusion weaken progression.
Use an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion that restates the direct opinion.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for discussing sport, earnings, careers, and social contribution, but repetition and frequent inaccurate collocations restrict precision.
Replace repeated phrases such as “a great deal” and “mega deal of money” with precise terms including “high salaries,” “commercial revenue,” and “financial rewards.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally understandable, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, capitalisation, and clause boundaries limit control.
Check agreement systematically in phrases such as “the person... is,” “sports professionals are,” and “scientists contribute,” then divide run-on sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.