There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Sample Response
In recent years, the world has seen many kinds of music and the broad categoriescategory of music are mainly international and traditional music. Music has diversediversified functions infor every region in the world. Why we do need music? Because music can inspire us, represent our emotionsrepresents our emotion and can remedy our wounds. In my opinion, traditional music has more significancethe traditional music has more significance than international music that people listen tothe International music which people listen to worldwide todayeverywhere in this era. Traditional music has far more significant functions and rolesfar greater functions and obvious roles than the international music. I will explain some reasons for my belief in the following discussionparagraphs. First, traditional music has become an important partthe traditional music has become the important part in many cultural ceremonies, such as wedding and funeral ceremoniessuch as wedding and death ceremony. For example, in a wedding ceremony, we need traditional music when a couple each other. Without music, this ceremony will not be complete. Secondly, nowadays we still use traditional music as a medium for communicatingcommunication and praising God or other people. For instance, sometimes we use music to praise our creator. Thirdly, every country or region has a distinctive genre that forms part of its identitya distinguished genre for identity. Music also has the aim to differentiate a country or a region from others. For example, Indonesia has dangdut and keroncong music and these forms of musicthese music have become Indonesia’sIndonesian cultural identity. In addition, we need traditional music to accompany traditional dancesdancing. In Indonesia, we have a lot of traditional dancing and each dancedancing has music to accompany and guide every movementto escort to manage every motion. For example, traditional music which accompanies jejer dance is different from Candra Dewi dancecandra dewi dance, because the music has to be suitable for every movementsuitable with every motion in each dance. Although nowadays people often listen to international music, but it does not mean that this music has more important functions than the traditional music, while international music is mostly used by people for entertain purposes traditional music represents our identity and culture.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear preference for traditional music and supports it with several culturally relevant examples, particularly from Indonesia. However, the reasons people need music and the value of international music receive limited direct development, and the single-block organisation combines with frequent language errors to reduce clarity. The main priority is to organise distinct paragraphs and develop both questions with balanced, explicitly explained reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered and the opinion is clear, but the need for music and the opposing comparison are developed less fully than traditional music.
Explain two general needs that music fulfils and compare traditional and international music directly before confirming the final judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a discernible sequence with clear enumeration, but the response is presented as one long paragraph and linking is mechanical.
Separate the introduction, each main line of argument, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with smoother internal transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, yet recurrent collocation and word-form errors often make expression awkward.
Use standard phrases such as cultural identity, accompany a dance, and entertainment purposes, and check noun forms and countability.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clause construction, and sentence boundaries limit accuracy.
Build complete sentences around one clear main clause and systematically check subject-verb agreement, articles, and conjunction patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.