The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The column graph outlines the number of leisure hours enjoyed by males and females in a typical week in 1998-1999, according to the gender and employment status.
In short, men enjoyed more free time for leisure compared to their female counterparts.
Now turning back to the details, men with full-time jobs had around fifty hours of leisure, whereas women had just thirty-seven hours. No figures for male paet-time workers are given, but part-time employed females had fourty hours of free time each week which is only slighty more than the women with full-time work.
Unemployed and retired males and females enjoyed more leisure time than their employed counterparts. However, in both categories, men had more leisure time to enjoy than females. Such men had eighty hours of free time per week compared to ten hours fewer leisure hours by females.
Lastly, housewives enjoyed approximately fifty-four hours of leisure in a week during the given period and no data for househusbands was given.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.
Graph
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard chart term Original: column graph Suggested revision: bar chart Why it matters: “Bar chart” is the conventional label for this visual.
- 2. Describe amount naturally Original: number of leisure hours Suggested revision: amount of leisure time Why it matters: The chart presents an amount of time measured in hours.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: according to the gender Suggested revision: according to gender Why it matters: “Gender” is used generically here and does not take “the.”
- 4. Use direct transition Original: Now turning back to the details Suggested revision: Turning to the details Why it matters: “Back” is unnecessary because the detailed discussion has not previously begun.
- 5. Correct spelling Original: paet Suggested revision: part Why it matters: The employment status is spelled “part-time.”
- 6. Use natural noun phrase Original: part-time employed females Suggested revision: part-time female employees Why it matters: This word order is the natural way to identify the group.
- 7. Correct number spelling Original: fourty Suggested revision: forty Why it matters: The correct spelling of the number is “forty.”
- 8. Add relative-clause comma Original: each week which Suggested revision: each week, which Why it matters: The non-defining relative clause should be separated with a comma.
- 9. Correct spelling Original: slighty Suggested revision: slightly Why it matters: The adverb is spelled “slightly.”
- 10. Use employment phrase Original: women with full-time work Suggested revision: women in full-time employment Why it matters: The replacement is the standard phrase for this employment category.
- 11. Remove redundancy Original: leisure time to enjoy Suggested revision: leisure time Why it matters: Leisure time is already time available for enjoyment.
- 12. Use parallel person noun Original: females Suggested revision: women Why it matters: “Men” should be compared with the parallel noun “women.”
Suggested Rewrites
- column graph bar chart
- number of leisure hours amount of leisure time
- according to the gender according to gender
- Now turning back to the details Turning to the details
- paet part
- part-time employed females part-time female employees
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report is well organised by employment group and clearly conveys that men had more leisure wherever both sexes were shown. Its main weakness is data accuracy: several figures are overstated, including full-time men, unemployed and retired groups, and housewives, while copied task text appears at the end; the highest-priority improvement is to remove that material and verify every reported value against the bars.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All employment groups are addressed and a relevant gender overview is given, but multiple approximate values do not match the chart and the appended task wording adds no achievement.
Report the bars more accurately, including about 45 hours for full-time men, roughly 85 and 78 for unemployed people, and 50 for housewives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Distinct paragraphs create a clear progression from the overview through employed, non-employed, and housewife groups, though the copied prompt ending disrupts the report.
Delete the appended task instruction and retain a clean introduction, overview, and two grouped detail paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response has sufficient vocabulary for comparison, but repetition and spelling errors such as "paet-time," "fourty," and "slighty" reduce control.
Proofread high-frequency task terms and use concise comparison phrases such as "slightly higher than" and "around seven hours fewer."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied and mostly accurate, with occasional awkward comparative forms and article use that do not impede meaning.
Refine comparative constructions, for example "women had about seven fewer hours than men," and check articles before employment categories.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.