The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The provided graph presents data on the amount of spare time both Males and Females from different employment status had enjoyed. The data available represents samples from the year 1998- 1999 and number of hours each gender spent on leisure.
In short, unemployed and retired categories of both genders enjoyed more leisure hours. However, in all the categories, males enjoyed more free hours than females did. No data was given for leisure time enjoyed by men who stayed home and men who worked part-time.
Firstly, it is seen that both genders from ‘Unemployed’ and ‘Retired’ status enjoyed more leisure time (75-85 hours) than all other employment nature. This is perhaps due to the ample time they had to spend on leisure instead of work hours.
Secondly, it is observed that data for men employed part-time and men who stayed at home is not provided in the chart. Also, part-time employed females enjoyed fewer leisure hours (40 hours) than housewives (50hours) but slightly more than females with full-time jobs (35-39 hours).
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match chart terminology Original: spare Suggested revision: leisure Why it matters: Leisure time matches the chart label and is more precise here.
- 2. Use natural nouns Original: both Males and Females Suggested revision: men and women Why it matters: Common nouns should not be capitalized, and men and women is the natural form in this context.
- 3. Fix preposition and number Original: from different employment status Suggested revision: with different employment statuses Why it matters: With correctly expresses association, and status should be plural for multiple categories.
- 4. Use simple past Original: had enjoyed Suggested revision: enjoyed Why it matters: The past perfect is unnecessary because no later past event is being contrasted.
- 5. Fix agreement and meaning Original: The data available represents samples Suggested revision: The data represent figures Why it matters: Data takes a plural verb here, and the chart presents figures rather than samples.
- 6. State the period concisely Original: from the year 1998- 1999 Suggested revision: for 1998–1999 Why it matters: For is the appropriate preposition for the period represented by the data.
- 7. Add missing article Original: and number of hours Suggested revision: and the number of hours Why it matters: The definite article is required before the specific measure shown in the chart.
- 8. Signal the overview Original: In short Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall clearly signals the summary of the chart's main features.
- 9. Refer to people clearly Original: unemployed and retired categories of both genders Suggested revision: unemployed and retired men and women Why it matters: People, rather than categories, are the ones who had leisure time.
- 10. Qualify the comparison Original: in all the categories Suggested revision: in all categories with data for both genders Why it matters: The chart provides no male figures for part-time employment or homemaking, so the claim must be limited.
- 11. Use precise term Original: free hours Suggested revision: hours of leisure Why it matters: Hours of leisure accurately names the measure reported in the chart.
- 12. Use category label Original: men who stayed home Suggested revision: male homemakers Why it matters: This wording concisely identifies the homemaker category shown in the chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- spare leisure
- both Males and Females men and women
- from different employment status with different employment statuses
- had enjoyed enjoyed
- The data available represents samples The data represent figures
- from the year 1998- 1999 for 1998–1999
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a valid overview, correctly identifying unemployed and retired people as having the most leisure and men as having more time wherever both sexes are shown. However, the detail is limited: it repeats the missing male categories, gives only a broad range for the main groups, and adds an unsupported explanation. Prioritise exact male-female comparisons for full-time workers, unemployed people, and retirees.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends and available female-only categories are described accurately, but key comparisons are insufficiently developed and one speculative cause is added.
Report the approximate male and female figures for full-time employment, unemployment, and retirement, and remove the unsupported explanation for greater leisure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses clear paragraph breaks and an overview, but the body repeats points rather than developing the most important comparisons.
Group the three categories with both genders in one detail paragraph and the two female-only categories in another.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, though several phrases about employment status and leisure are unnatural or repetitive.
Use 'people in different employment categories', 'weekly leisure time', and 'full-time female employees'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the meaning, but agreement, articles, noun forms, and tense choices are not consistently accurate.
Revise phrases such as 'people of different employment statuses', 'the data represent', and 'men who stayed at home'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.