The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The graph compares the amount of leisure time enjoyed by people of different employment levels in a typical week in the year 1998-1999.
Generally speaking, unemployed and retired people, both men and women enjoyed more leisure time than employed people and men compared to women had more time for leisure activities.
In the given column graph, no data has been provided for the part-time employed and house-staying men. For rest of the cases, Men have more leisure time than women of the same category. The highest amount of leisure hours is enjoyed by those, who are unemployed. Unemployed men had approximately 85 hours of spare time and women from the same category had about 83 hours. The retired people also enjoyed the same amount of leisure activities as did the unemployed men and women. On the contrary, full-time employed men had a total of 40 hours leisure time compared to about 37 hours of women from the same status. Finally, women with part-time jobs had 40 hours to spend for their leisure activities and housewives had 50 hours leisure time per week.
Tips for writing the answer for this Academic Writing Task 1:
1. The given bar graph compares the data for the year 1998 and 1999. So your answer should be in past tense. For instance: Full time employed men enjoyed about 44 hours of leisure time while the female of this category had approximately 38 hours of leisure time.
2. Notice that no data for the home staying husbands and part-time employed men are given in the graph. So mention that fact as well. Example: No data for the part-time employed men and house-staying men are given in the illustration....
3. Observe that men and women of retired and unemployed categories had more free times than the employed people. This is an important fact of the graph. So mention this fact in your writing.
4. Female had less leisure time than the men in the given categories. As this is an important factor of the graph, mention this and also give a hint that this might have happened because of the females’ engagement of household works, child rearing etc.
Summary of the graph: Unemployed and retired people had more leisure time than the part-time and full-time employed men and women. Also, women enjoyed less leisure time than men as they have more involvement in household works. No data was given for the part-time job holding and house-staying male.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart category term Original: levels Suggested revision: statuses Why it matters: The chart groups people by employment status rather than by employment level.
- 2. Fix year range Original: in the year 1998-1999 Suggested revision: in 1998–99 Why it matters: A two-year range should not be introduced as a single year.
- 3. Close inserted phrase Original: people, both men and women enjoyed Suggested revision: people, both men and women, enjoyed Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase needs a closing comma before the main verb.
- 4. Fix comparison structure Original: and men compared to women had more time for leisure activities Suggested revision: and men had more leisure time than women Why it matters: Use than to form a clear direct comparison.
- 5. Name chart directly Original: given column graph Suggested revision: bar chart Why it matters: Bar chart is the standard and more concise label for this visual.
- 6. Keep past tense Original: has been provided Suggested revision: was provided Why it matters: The chart describes the 1998–99 period, so the report should maintain past tense.
- 7. Add article Original: For rest of the cases Suggested revision: For the remaining categories Why it matters: The phrase requires an article and categories is more precise than cases here.
- 8. Fix case and tense Original: Men have Suggested revision: men had Why it matters: This noun is not sentence-initial and the report should remain in past tense.
- 9. Fix measurement phrase Original: amount of leisure hours is enjoyed Suggested revision: amount of leisure time was enjoyed Why it matters: Leisure time is the measured quantity, and the past tense matches the chart period.
- 10. Remove incorrect comma Original: those, who are unemployed Suggested revision: those who were unemployed Why it matters: A defining relative clause takes no comma, and the verb should be in the past tense.
- 11. Use comparison linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By comparison Why it matters: The sentence introduces a numerical comparison rather than a direct contradiction.
- 12. Correct male figure Original: 40 hours leisure time Suggested revision: 45 hours of leisure time Why it matters: The full-time employed male bar is approximately 45 hours.
Suggested Rewrites
- levels statuses
- in the year 1998-1999 in 1998–99
- people, both men and women enjoyed people, both men and women, enjoyed
- and men compared to women had more time for leisure activities and men had more leisure time than women
- given column graph bar chart
- has been provided was provided
Why this response received Band 5.5
The opening report identifies the principal patterns and covers every employment category with generally clear comparisons. However, the response then becomes substantially irrelevant by appending writing tips, examples, and a repeated summary, while some figures and the suggested explanation for the gender difference are unsupported by the chart. The priority is to submit only a concise report and verify the female unemployment figure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report has a clear overview and broad category coverage, but some values are inaccurate and the appended advice and speculative explanation do not fulfil the reporting task.
Retain only the chart report, correct the female unemployment value to about 78 hours, and avoid explanations that the visual does not provide.
Coherence and Cohesion
The initial report is logically organised, but the abrupt shift into numbered tips and a second summary seriously disrupts unity and progression.
Use a compact introduction, overview, and one or two detail paragraphs without adding instructional material after the report.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for comparisons, but several collocations and forms are awkward, including "employment levels," "free times," and "household works."
Use natural terms such as "employment status," "free time," and "housework," and distinguish leisure time from leisure activities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted successfully, but agreement, articles, capitalization, and tense control are inconsistent across the response.
Maintain past tense throughout the report and edit recurring forms such as "the rest of the cases," lowercase "men," and plural agreement.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.