The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The given graph gives information on the number of leisure hours enjoyed by male and female with different employment status in an average week of the year 1998 and 1999. As is observed from the graph, the male had more free times than the female and employed people enjoyed less free hours than the unemployed or retired persons on an average.
In summary, the graph depicts that the male had more leisure time to enjoy than the female possibly because of the females involvement in household works and people without jobs had almost double leisure times than the employed population.
The line graph compares the amount of leisure time enjoyed by people with different employment statuses and also compares the leisure hours between men and women. In a typical week of 1998 - 1999, full-time employed men had more than 40 hours of leisure time compared to the 38 hours leisure time of women. Females with part-time jobs had 40 hours of free time which is 2 hours more than the full time employed woman which is natural considering the job natures. No data for part-time employed and house staying men were given in the illustration. On the other hand, unemployed and retired males had more than 80 hours of leisure time in a week while females of these 2 categories had around 78 hours of free time in a week. The amount of leisure time enjoyed by housewives was 50 hours which is less than the unemployed and retired females but higher that employed females.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural nouns Original: male and female Suggested revision: males and females Why it matters: Plural nouns are needed when referring to the groups generally.
- 2. Use plural status Original: status Suggested revision: statuses Why it matters: Several employment categories are compared.
- 3. Fix time expression Original: in an average week of the year 1998 and 1999 Suggested revision: in an average week in 1998–1999 Why it matters: This is the natural way to state the chart’s time period.
- 4. Fix count and number Original: the male had more free times than the female Suggested revision: males had more free time than females Why it matters: “Time” is uncountable here, and the group nouns should be plural.
- 5. Use fewer hours Original: less free hours Suggested revision: fewer hours of free time Why it matters: Countable hours take “fewer,” not “less.”
- 6. Fix fixed phrase Original: on an average Suggested revision: on average Why it matters: The standard expression does not take an article.
- 7. Name chart correctly Original: The line graph Suggested revision: The bar chart Why it matters: The visual uses bars rather than lines.
- 8. Give exact value Original: more than 40 hours Suggested revision: about 45 hours Why it matters: The bar for full-time employed men is approximately 45 hours.
- 9. Add of phrase Original: 38 hours leisure time Suggested revision: 38 hours of leisure time Why it matters: The noun phrase requires “of” between the amount and the activity.
- 10. Use category label Original: Females with part-time jobs Suggested revision: Part-time employed women Why it matters: This wording matches the employment category more directly.
- 11. Keep past tense Original: which is 2 hours more than Suggested revision: which was two hours more than Why it matters: The report refers to a past time period and should maintain past tense.
- 12. Fix form and number Original: full time employed woman Suggested revision: full-time employed women Why it matters: The compound modifier needs a hyphen and the comparison concerns a group.
Suggested Rewrites
- male and female males and females
- status statuses
- in an average week of the year 1998 and 1999 in an average week in 1998–1999
- the male had more free times than the female males had more free time than females
- less free hours fewer hours of free time
- on an average on average
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overall comparison and covers every employment group with mostly accurate figures, particularly the contrast between employed and unemployed or retired people. Its main weakness is unnecessary repetition and unsupported explanation, such as attributing women’s leisure patterns to housework, alongside recurring awkward phrasing. Prioritise a concise overview and objective grouped comparisons, then edit plural and comparative forms for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents the principal patterns and relevant figures accurately, but it adds unsupported speculation about housework and repeats the overview.
Keep the report objective and use the overview only for the two main patterns before presenting selected figures by employment status.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a clear introduction, overview, and detailed comparison, though repeated framing and long sentences make progression less efficient.
Remove the second introduction to the graph and divide the detailed comparisons into employed and non-employed groups.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for comparisons, but awkward plurals and collocations such as “free times,” “household works,” and “job natures” recur.
Use natural forms such as leisure time, housework, employment status, and the nature of the job.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is attempted, but recurring article, possessive, plural, and comparative errors limit grammatical control.
Check noun number and comparison patterns, especially “men had more leisure time than women” and “higher than.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.