Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates how the lower pH levels in the mouth, which are produced by eating sweets, causes tooth decay. It is clear that the acid levels are indirectly proportionate to the pH levels and pH level less than 5.5 is favourable to tooth decay. To launch into the topic, Undoubtedly, the highest acidic levels are due to cane sugar which causes pH 3.5 within 5minutes and these unsafe levels maintain up to half an hour after consumption. Then the second given cause to drop pH level(4) in the mouth is fruit sugar and it takes approximately 20 minutes to level off. Moreover, the last but not least important cause given here is honey. Though it resulted in soaring mouth pH level up to 5, it drops down to a healthy level within 10 minutes after consumption. To summarise, even though, the given sweet foods increase mouth acid levels within the span of 10 minutes, they take exactly 40 minutes to reach pH 7 after eating which is the safest level that does not cause tooth decay.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the collocation Original: produced Suggested revision: caused Why it matters: Eating sweets causes the fall in pH rather than producing pH levels.
- 2. Match the plural subject Original: causes Suggested revision: cause Why it matters: The plural subject “levels” requires the plural verb “cause”.
- 3. Use the precise relationship Original: indirectly proportionate Suggested revision: inversely proportional Why it matters: Acidity rises as pH falls, so the relationship is inverse.
- 4. Add the article Original: pH level less than 5.5 Suggested revision: a pH level below 5.5 Why it matters: A singular countable noun needs an article, and “below” expresses the threshold naturally.
- 5. Clarify the health effect Original: is favourable to tooth decay Suggested revision: can lead to tooth decay Why it matters: “Can lead to” states the relationship between low pH and decay clearly.
- 6. Remove the clumsy preface Original: To launch into the topic, Undoubtedly, the Suggested revision: The Why it matters: The stacked introductory phrases interrupt the move from the overview to the details.
- 7. Use the correct noun Original: highest acidic levels Suggested revision: highest levels of acidity Why it matters: “Acidic” is an adjective, whereas the graph compares levels of acidity.
- 8. Complete the verb pattern Original: causes pH 3.5 Suggested revision: causes the pH to fall to 3.5 Why it matters: The construction needs an object and infinitive to describe the change in pH.
- 9. Use an intransitive verb Original: these unsafe levels maintain Suggested revision: this unsafe pH level remains Why it matters: A level remains at a value; it does not maintain by itself.
- 10. Mark the duration Original: up to half an hour after consumption Suggested revision: for up to half an hour after consumption Why it matters: The duration following “remains” requires the preposition “for”.
- 11. Avoid unsupported importance Original: the last but not least important cause given here Suggested revision: the third substance shown Why it matters: The chart presents honey as a substance rather than ranking its importance.
- 12. Use a clear subject Original: Though it resulted in Suggested revision: Although honey causes Why it matters: Naming honey removes the unclear pronoun and keeps the description in the present tense.
Suggested Rewrites
- produced caused
- causes cause
- indirectly proportionate inversely proportional
- pH level less than 5.5 a pH level below 5.5
- is favourable to tooth decay can lead to tooth decay
- To launch into the topic, Undoubtedly, the The
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the main relationship between low pH and decay risk and correctly notes that cane sugar causes the deepest and longest fall. However, it misrepresents honey's movement and recovery and incorrectly claims that all three substances return to pH 7 after exactly 40 minutes. The highest-priority improvement is to compare the three recovery times accurately, especially honey at about 25 minutes, fruit sugar at 35, and cane sugar at 40.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the decay threshold and the strongest initial pH fall, but it reports honey's pattern and the final recovery times inaccurately.
Distinguish the recovery curves clearly: honey reaches pH 7 at about 25 minutes, fruit sugar at 35 minutes, and cane sugar at 40 minutes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses from the overall relationship to each substance and a conclusion, although the single dense paragraph and formulaic linking weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and use simple, accurate transitions instead of phrases such as 'To launch into the topic'.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary to describe acidity and decay, but several word choices and collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Use precise graph language such as 'falls to', 'remains below the threshold', and 'recovers to' when describing pH changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, but agreement, article, punctuation, and clause-control errors recur.
Check subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries, particularly in long sentences containing several comparisons and time expressions.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.