Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Sample Response
The provided line graph shows the acid level of our mouth which is created by the consumption of fruit sugar, cane sugar & honey and compares their effects on our tooth decay.
When the pH level in the mouth is above 5.5, acidity remains at such a level that teeth are unlikely to be in danger from decay. Sweet foods, however, cause pH in the mouth to drop for a time, and the longer the pH levels remain below 5.5, the greater the possibility for decay to occur. The illustration compares the fruit sugar, cane sugar and honey, which are the most common ingredients of sweet foods, causes the pH level to drop below the danger level after 5 minutes. Among these 3 sweet items, cane sugar decreases the pH level most quickly and causes to remain the level under the danger level for the longest period (over 30 minutes) and thus produce the greatest risk among the three. After consuming the cane sugar, the pH level drops to level 3.5 and remains there for over half an hour. On the other hand, fruit sugar causes the acidity level of mouth to fall under pH level 4 in 5 minutes and remains under threat level for 20 minutes. Finally, the honey appears to be less risky among the three causes the pH level to drop to 4.7 in 5 minutes and proceed to above pH 5.5 level within 15 minutes of consumption. In conclusion, all of the sweet items possess the possibility of causing tooth decay and honey and fruit sugar are likely to cause less decay than the cane sugar does.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise measure Original: acid level of our mouth Suggested revision: pH level in the mouth Why it matters: The graph measures oral pH, and “our mouth” is too personal and imprecise for an academic report.
- 2. Fix relative clause Original: which is created by Suggested revision: resulting from Why it matters: This participial phrase correctly links the measured pH changes to consumption.
- 3. Use formal conjunction Original: & Suggested revision: and Why it matters: Write the conjunction in full in formal academic prose.
- 4. Clarify dental effect Original: their effects on our tooth decay Suggested revision: their effects on the risk of tooth decay Why it matters: The foods affect the risk of decay rather than a personal instance described as “our tooth decay”.
- 5. Use concise risk phrase Original: possibility for decay to occur Suggested revision: risk of tooth decay Why it matters: The shorter phrase is natural and preserves the intended implication.
- 6. Remove dangling modifier Original: After consuming the cane sugar Suggested revision: After cane sugar is consumed Why it matters: The original wrongly suggests that the pH level itself consumes the sugar.
- 7. Name the scale Original: level Suggested revision: pH Why it matters: The numerical value should be identified directly as a pH reading.
- 8. Correct duration claim Original: remains there for over half an hour Suggested revision: remains below pH 5.5 for about 30 minutes Why it matters: The line rises after its minimum; it stays in the danger zone rather than remaining at pH 3.5.
- 9. Use comparison linker Original: On the other hand Suggested revision: By comparison Why it matters: The sentence compares measured effects rather than introducing a directly opposing argument.
- 10. Use precise terminology Original: acidity level of mouth Suggested revision: pH level in the mouth Why it matters: The graph reports pH values, and the phrase also requires the article “the”.
- 11. Correct fruit value Original: fall under pH level 4 Suggested revision: fall to about pH 4.2 Why it matters: The fruit-sugar line reaches roughly 4.2 at five minutes and does not fall below pH 4.
- 12. Name danger threshold Original: remains under threat level Suggested revision: remains below the danger level Why it matters: “Below the danger level” accurately relates the line to the marked pH 5.5 threshold.
Suggested Rewrites
- acid level of our mouth pH level in the mouth
- which is created by resulting from
- & and
- their effects on our tooth decay their effects on the risk of tooth decay
- possibility for decay to occur risk of tooth decay
- After consuming the cane sugar After cane sugar is consumed
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly explains the decay threshold and successfully ranks cane sugar as the greatest risk and honey as the least, using relevant figures for all three substances. The main limitation is data precision: fruit sugar bottoms out above pH 4, and cane sugar does not remain at pH 3.5 for over half an hour. Prioritize tracing each curve accurately from its minimum back above 5.5.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers all three curves, the 5.5 danger threshold, and the main risk ranking, but it misstates the fruit-sugar minimum and cane-sugar recovery pattern.
Report each minimum and the time each curve crosses back above pH 5.5 without implying that the minimum remains constant.
Coherence and Cohesion
The explanation follows a logical threshold-to-comparison sequence, though almost all details are compressed into one long body paragraph.
Separate the overall risk comparison from the curve-by-curve details to make the progression easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
There is a useful range of topic vocabulary for acidity, decay, consumption, and risk, alongside several awkward collocations and repetitions.
Replace phrases such as acid level of our mouth and possess the possibility with acidity in the mouth and pose a risk.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted frequently, but agreement and clause-construction errors recur in sentences describing how the three substances affect pH.
Ensure each comparison has a clear subject and finite verb, especially in the fruit-sugar and honey descriptions.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.