Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Sample Response
The provided line graph illustrates the acid level in the mouth which is created by consuming sweet foods specifically sugar and honey and the possibility of tooth decay because of this acid level. As is presented in the line-graph, the higher the acid level the lower the pH value and a pH level less than 5.5 is detrimental to the tooth and causes the tooth decay. The given graph shows that the initial pH level of our mouth is 7 which begins to fall after consuming sweet foods. When we eat sweet item like cane sugar, the pH level drops to 3.5 after 5 minutes and remain in danger level (below pH level 5.5) for more than 30 minutes. Consuming fruit sugar drops the pH level nearly to 4 and remains at danger level for about 20 minutes. And finally, when we eat honey, the pH level falls below 5 and it remains under risk level for about 13 minutes. As the low pH level means higher acidity and causes tooth decay, cane sugar among the mentioned three food items is the most harmful to our tooth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove filler word Original: The given graph Suggested revision: The graph Why it matters: Given is unnecessary because the visual has already been introduced.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: the initial pH level of our mouth Suggested revision: the initial pH level in the mouth Why it matters: This phrasing is more natural and appropriately impersonal for a report.
- 3. Add article Original: sweet item Suggested revision: a sweet item Why it matters: A singular countable noun requires an article.
- 4. Use example marker Original: like cane sugar Suggested revision: such as cane sugar Why it matters: Such as introduces an example more precisely in formal writing.
- 5. Fix agreement and phrase Original: remain in danger level Suggested revision: remains in the danger zone Why it matters: The singular subject requires remains, and in the danger zone is the natural expression.
- 6. Simplify pH expression Original: below pH level 5.5 Suggested revision: below pH 5.5 Why it matters: The shorter form is standard and avoids repeating level.
- 7. Clarify causation Original: Consuming fruit sugar drops the pH level Suggested revision: Consuming fruit sugar causes the pH level to drop Why it matters: The revised structure expresses the cause-and-effect relationship naturally.
- 8. Use accurate minimum Original: nearly to 4 Suggested revision: to about 4.2 Why it matters: The fruit-sugar curve reaches a low of approximately 4.2 rather than nearly 4.
- 9. Fix subject relationship Original: remains at danger level Suggested revision: keeps it in the danger zone Why it matters: Consuming fruit sugar causes the pH change rather than itself remaining at a level.
- 10. Refine transition Original: And finally Suggested revision: Finally Why it matters: The concise transition is more appropriate in a formal data report.
- 11. Use accurate phrase Original: under risk level Suggested revision: in the danger zone Why it matters: The graph identifies values below 5.5 as the range in which decay occurs.
- 12. Improve causal clause Original: As the low pH level means Suggested revision: Because a low pH indicates Why it matters: This construction states the causal relationship clearly and naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- The given graph The graph
- the initial pH level of our mouth the initial pH level in the mouth
- sweet item a sweet item
- like cane sugar such as cane sugar
- remain in danger level remains in the danger zone
- below pH level 5.5 below pH 5.5
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly explains the 5.5 pH danger threshold and accurately distinguishes cane sugar as producing the deepest, longest-lasting acidity, with relevant figures for all three foods. Its main weakness is that the overview is incomplete and the report does not highlight the shared recovery to pH 7 or honey’s much faster recovery; prioritise a concise comparative overview, exact timing, and cleaner grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately covers the threshold, the initial drops, and the relative dental risk, but it omits the common return to pH 7 and understates the full comparison.
Add an overview comparing depth and recovery time, noting that honey recovers fastest and all three return to neutral by 40 minutes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description follows a sensible sequence from the threshold through the three foods to the implication, but the single-paragraph presentation limits structural clarity.
Use a separate overview and group the detailed comparisons by initial fall and recovery duration.
Lexical Resource
Relevant scientific vocabulary conveys the graph effectively, although repeated phrases such as “acid level” and imprecise expressions such as “danger level” restrict flexibility.
Vary the language with precise terms such as “acidity,” “critical threshold,” “lowest pH,” and “recovery period.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear and some complex structures are used, but recurring agreement, article, and countability errors reduce accuracy.
Check subject–verb agreement and noun forms in phrases such as “sweet items,” “the pH remains,” and “harmful to teeth.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.