Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Sample Response
The line graph gives information about the acidity level of the mouth after ingesting three different sweet items- fruit sugar, cane sugar and honey over forty minutes. The lower the pH level of the mouth, the more acidic it becomes making it highly conducive to tooth decay formation. A pH level of 5.5 and above indicates a safe zone, which means tooth decay, is unlikely to occur. Consequently, the pH value below 5.5 is considered as the danger zone, which gives higher chance for the dental problem to happen. The line graphs show that the cane sugar is the most dangerous among the three sweets products mentioned. It becomes highly acidic at the pH level of 3.5 after 5 minutes of consumption and remained acidic for almost half an hour. On the other hand, fruit sugar becomes acidic (4.2 pH level), five minutes after consumption but reached the safe level of acidity after fifteen minutes. In contrast, honey gets the lowest acidity level (almost 5 pH level) after five minutes of ingestion and plateau on this level for another five minutes, then steadily decreases the acidity in the mouth, and thereby crosses the danger zone after 15 minutes of consumption. In summary, all the three sweet items have a chance to cause the tooth decay. However, among the three, honey is less likely to cause dental problems as it loses its acidity faster compared to fruit and cane sugars.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct punctuation Original: sweet items- Suggested revision: sweet items: Why it matters: A colon correctly introduces the list of three items.
- 2. Clarify time span Original: over forty minutes Suggested revision: over a forty-minute period Why it matters: The revised phrase states the duration more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Separate result clause Original: it becomes making it Suggested revision: it becomes, making it Why it matters: A comma is needed before the participial result clause.
- 4. Remove redundancy Original: tooth decay formation Suggested revision: tooth decay Why it matters: “Decay” already denotes the process, so “formation” is redundant.
- 5. Remove incorrect comma Original: tooth decay, is Suggested revision: tooth decay is Why it matters: A comma must not separate the subject from its verb here.
- 6. Correct the article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The sentence refers generally to any value below the threshold.
- 7. Correct verb pattern Original: considered as Suggested revision: considered Why it matters: “Considered” takes a direct complement in this construction.
- 8. State the risk clearly Original: which gives higher chance for the dental problem to happen Suggested revision: which indicates a higher risk of tooth decay Why it matters: The revision uses concise and accurate language for the dental implication.
- 9. Use singular graph Original: graphs Suggested revision: graph Why it matters: Only one graph is presented.
- 10. Remove the article Original: the cane sugar Suggested revision: cane sugar Why it matters: The substance name is used generically and does not take “the”.
- 11. Correct noun modifier Original: sweets Suggested revision: sweet Why it matters: The singular adjective “sweet” should modify “products”.
- 12. Use natural quantifier Original: all the three sweet items Suggested revision: all three sweet items Why it matters: “All” directly precedes the numeral in this phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- sweet items- sweet items:
- over forty minutes over a forty-minute period
- it becomes making it it becomes, making it
- tooth decay formation tooth decay
- tooth decay, is tooth decay is
- the a
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response interprets the relationship between pH and tooth decay well and clearly identifies cane sugar as the greatest risk and honey as the least harmful option. The main weakness is some inaccurate timing, especially the claim that fruit sugar returns to the safe level after fifteen minutes, together with recurring language errors. Prioritise checking every threshold crossing against the graph and tightening grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a relevant overview and most major trends accurately, but it misstates when fruit sugar reaches the safe pH level.
Check each line's crossing of pH 5.5 precisely, noting that fruit sugar reaches this threshold at about twenty minutes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description follows a clear sequence from the safety threshold to the three substances, although the lack of paragraphing makes the organisation less distinct.
Use a separate overview paragraph and group the detailed comparisons of duration below the danger threshold together.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, including acidity, conducive, and plateau, but several collocations and word forms are awkward.
Use precise combinations such as sweet products, risk of tooth decay, and remained at this level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted and meaning remains clear, but agreement, article, tense, punctuation, and verb-form errors recur throughout.
Maintain consistent past tense for graph changes and check subject-verb agreement and article use in every sentence.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.