Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Sample Response
The given line graph gives information on the acid level produced in our mouth decay after consuming fruit sugar, cane sugar and honey and compares the possible implication those three sweet food items have on our tooth decay. As is observed from the given presentation, honey causes the least tooth decay while the cane sugar possesses the possibility of decaying our tooth among the mentioned three sweet foods. The graph shows that different acid level is created in mouth after we consume different sweet food items.The higher acid level is measured by the lower pH level and tooth decay is likely when the pH level in our mouth goes below 5.5. After we eat fruit sugar, the pH level of our mouth declines below 5.5 in 5 minutes and remain in danger level until 13 minutes. Similarly, Cane sugar causes the pH level to get under pH level 5.5 in 5 minutes but it remains in danger level for more than 30 minutes which shows the fact that can sugar can cause more tooth decay than the fruit sugar. Finally, in 5 minutes the pH level of our mouth reaches to danger level in 5 minutes after we take honey and this level remains in the danger zone for about 20 minutes. The comparison of the three sweet items indicates that the honey is comparatively safer for our dental health as it possesses the least possibility of tooth decay while cane sugar possesses the most danger to our dental health as it would possibly cause the highest tooth decay.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the meaning Original: the acid level produced in our mouth decay Suggested revision: the acid levels produced in the mouth Why it matters: Mouth decay incorrectly describes the location and obscures the graph's subject.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: implication Suggested revision: implications Why it matters: The comparison concerns multiple dental-health implications.
- 3. Correct the construction Original: those three sweet food items have on Suggested revision: of those three sweet foods for Why it matters: Implications of something for an outcome is the correct construction here.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: possesses the possibility of decaying our tooth Suggested revision: poses the greatest risk of tooth decay Why it matters: The original collocation is unnatural and tooth should not be singular here.
- 5. Fix number agreement Original: different acid level is created Suggested revision: different acid levels are created Why it matters: Different requires a plural count noun and a plural verb.
- 6. Clarify the relationship Original: The Suggested revision: A Why it matters: The indefinite article correctly introduces a general relationship.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: is measured by the lower pH level Suggested revision: is indicated by a lower pH value Why it matters: Indicated by and pH value describe the graph's measurement more precisely.
- 8. Fix verb and preposition Original: and remain in danger level Suggested revision: and remains in the danger zone Why it matters: The singular subject requires remains, and in the danger zone is the natural phrase.
- 9. Lowercase common noun Original: Cane Suggested revision: cane Why it matters: Cane sugar is a common noun and is not capitalized mid-sentence.
- 10. Describe the fall clearly Original: to get under pH level 5.5 Suggested revision: to fall below pH 5.5 Why it matters: Fall below is the standard expression for crossing a numerical threshold.
- 11. Make the link concise Original: which shows the fact that Suggested revision: indicating that Why it matters: Indicating that connects the evidence to the comparison more directly.
- 12. Correct sugar name Original: can Suggested revision: cane Why it matters: Can is a spelling error for cane in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- the acid level produced in our mouth decay the acid levels produced in the mouth
- implication implications
- those three sweet food items have on of those three sweet foods for
- possesses the possibility of decaying our tooth poses the greatest risk of tooth decay
- different acid level is created different acid levels are created
- The A
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response clearly identifies honey as the least harmful option and cane sugar as the most harmful, and it links the pH threshold to dental risk. Its main weakness is inaccurate timing: the danger-zone durations for fruit sugar and honey are effectively reversed, while repeated wording and awkward grammar reduce precision. Prioritise reading where each line crosses pH 5.5 and reporting those durations accurately in a concise comparison.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overall ranking of the three foods and the significance of pH 5.5 are clear, but two of the three danger-zone durations are reported inaccurately.
State that honey rises above pH 5.5 after about 13 minutes, fruit sugar after about 20 minutes, and cane sugar only after roughly 33 minutes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a generally logical route from overview to individual foods and conclusion, though repetition and the lack of paragraphing make it somewhat mechanical.
Separate the overview from a concise comparison paragraph and avoid repeating the same dental-health conclusion at both the beginning and end.
Lexical Resource
Relevant vocabulary about acidity and dental health is used, but awkward combinations such as mouth decay, possesses the most danger, and danger level recur.
Use precise phrases such as risk of tooth decay, remains below the threshold, and poses the greatest dental risk.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted and meaning is mostly clear, but frequent agreement, article, plural, and preposition errors reduce grammatical control.
Edit recurring structures for accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and phrases such as reaches the danger level and remains in the danger zone.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.