Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Sample Response
The provided graph illustrates the acid level in our mouths before and after the consumption of different sweet foods. It is obvious that pH level less than 5.5 is detrimental to our teeth and the longer this level prevails the more damages it causes. Initially, the acid level of our mouth is 7, but after consuming sugary products the level begins to drop quickly in the first 5 minutes. It slowly tries to get to where it was at first, though it varies in different sugar deliveries. For instance, after the intake of honey, the pH level of mouth descends below 5.5 in 5 minutes and it only takes around 15 minutes to get out of the danger zone, while the cane sugar lowers the pH level in just 3 minutes and it stays in the risk level almost for 35 minutes. Finally, fruit sugar causes the pH level to dip below 5.5 in roughly 4 minutes and stays in hazard zone for about 20 minutes. To conclude, no matter what sort of sugary food we consume it does damage our teeth and makes them vulnerable. Although the risk of decaying differs from honey to cane sugar and honey seems to be the safest sweet food for our teeth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise measure Original: acid level in our mouths Suggested revision: pH level in the mouth Why it matters: The graph measures pH, so naming that measure is more precise.
- 2. Add article Original: pH level less than 5.5 Suggested revision: a pH level below 5.5 Why it matters: The singular countable noun needs an article, and 'below' is the natural comparative term.
- 3. Clarify duration Original: the longer this level prevails Suggested revision: the longer the pH remains below 5.5 Why it matters: This wording states exactly which condition creates the dental risk.
- 4. Uncountable noun Original: damages Suggested revision: damage Why it matters: 'Damage' is uncountable in this context.
- 5. Name pH directly Original: acid level of our mouth Suggested revision: pH level in the mouth Why it matters: This is a more accurate description of the vertical scale.
- 6. Avoid personification Original: tries to get to where it was at first Suggested revision: gradually returns to its initial level Why it matters: A pH value cannot 'try,' so the trend should be described objectively.
- 7. Wrong noun Original: sugar deliveries Suggested revision: types of sugar Why it matters: 'Deliveries' does not describe the three foods compared in the graph.
- 8. Add article Original: the pH level of mouth Suggested revision: the pH level in the mouth Why it matters: The noun 'mouth' requires an article, and 'in' is the appropriate preposition.
- 9. Describe timing clearly Original: descends below 5.5 in 5 minutes Suggested revision: falls below 5.5 within five minutes Why it matters: 'Within' accurately describes a threshold crossed before the five-minute reading.
- 10. Improve comparison Original: while the cane sugar Suggested revision: whereas cane sugar Why it matters: 'Whereas' makes the contrast direct, and no article is needed before 'cane sugar'.
- 11. Correct threshold phrase Original: in the risk level Suggested revision: below the risk threshold Why it matters: The risk is represented by values below the 5.5 threshold, not 'in' a level.
- 12. Correct duration Original: almost for 35 minutes Suggested revision: for approximately 30 minutes Why it matters: The cane-sugar curve remains below 5.5 from shortly after eating until roughly 35 minutes, a period of about 30 minutes.
Suggested Rewrites
- acid level in our mouths pH level in the mouth
- pH level less than 5.5 a pH level below 5.5
- the longer this level prevails the longer the pH remains below 5.5
- damages damage
- acid level of our mouth pH level in the mouth
- tries to get to where it was at first gradually returns to its initial level
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report identifies the threshold for tooth-decay risk and compares how long all three sweeteners keep mouth pH below it, with honey correctly emerging as the safest. Its main weakness is imprecise timing and terminology, including unsupported three- and four-minute claims and confusion between pH and acid level. Prioritise accurate time points from the graph and describe the sharp fall, minimum level, and recovery for each series consistently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response gives a relevant overview and covers the risk duration for all three series, but a few timings are unsupported or imprecise.
Use the plotted five-minute intervals and compare each minimum pH and recovery time accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description progresses logically from the shared starting point to individual series and a concluding comparison, despite limited paragraphing.
Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and group the three recovery patterns in a more visibly parallel structure.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably varied scientific vocabulary is used, but phrases such as sugar deliveries, risk level, and risk of decaying are imprecise.
Distinguish acidity from pH and use precise terms such as consumption, danger threshold, and risk of tooth decay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but article, plural, agreement, and sentence-fragment errors recur.
Complete every subordinate clause and check articles, countable nouns, and subject-verb agreement throughout.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.