The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The two presented maps depict the transformation of an island after the establishment of various tourist infrastructureinfrastructures. In general, the island was largely undevelopeda bare land with a beach and some trees but now it is more tourist-friendlytourists friendly following the addition of several tourist facilitiesafter being renovated with several prominent changes. Looking at the details, before redevelopmentbefore being renovated, the island was largely undevelopedcertainly a vacant lot with a beach on its western sideon the west side. In contrast, after reconstruction, the previously undeveloped islandthe plain island has been converted into an attractive tourist destination. Some accommodation buildings, food courts, a reception, a dock are present now. The dock enables ships to stand in. Furthermore, the beach has become a swimming areathe beach turns to swimming area that was not utilised before constructionbefore the constructions. In additionBesides, footpathsfootpath and vehicle tracks also are another notable additionoutline a noticeable difference in fact. There were no such tracks before renewal, but now several tracks havehad been built. These improvements make the view of the island better equipped for tourismmore promising and fascinating.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is that it identifies most of the major additions and conveys the island’s overall conversion into a tourist destination. However, the description remains general, includes an inaccurate reference to multiple food courts, and omits important spatial relationships and the undeveloped eastern area. Prioritise organising the details by location and explaining how the pier, reception, restaurant, accommodation clusters, paths, and swimming beach are connected.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main transformation and several facilities are identified, but coverage of layout and spatial relationships is limited and occasionally inaccurate.
Describe the two accommodation clusters, transport links, retained eastern area, and single restaurant precisely from the map.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a discernible overview-to-detail progression, although linking is sometimes mechanical and the details are loosely grouped.
Group the after-map features by western, central, and eastern areas to create a clearer progression.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary and some less common wording, but frequent collocational imprecision reduces naturalness.
Use precise map language such as ‘pier’, ‘restaurant’, ‘vehicle track’, and ‘pedestrian path’ instead of vague or inaccurate alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the meaning, though article, agreement, word-form, and tense errors recur.
Check noun phrases and agreement carefully, especially forms such as ‘tourist-friendly’, ‘a swimming area’, and plural subject-verb combinations.