The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The two maps showshows how an island has been redesigned. Overall, the island has undergone some noticeable changes, namely the addition of a restaurant, numerous accommodation units andfew accomodations and various essential amenities.
The island has been transformed into a tourist-friendlytouristically appealing environment. A reception building was addedThe reception was added in the center of the island, which was surrounded by vehicle tracks. Accommodation huts wereFew accomodations were added in a circleon a circular way to the west and east of the receptionon the west and the east side of the island interconnected by footpaths.along with a footpath. On the north side, near the reception area, athe restaurant was built, which is connected to the reception with a vehicle track.
On the west side of the island athe small area was dedicated to the beach, both prior to and after the redesigningboth prior and after redesigning process. The beach was after used for swimming area for tourists visiting the island. On the south, near the seasee coast, a pier was added, providing access for boats and yachts.which was mainly used for sailing.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay successfully covers the main changes between the two maps, providing a clear overall summary and describing key additions such as the reception, restaurant, accommodation, and pier. However, accuracy in grammatical structures and precision in vocabulary are limited by recurring errors in agreement and word choice. To improve, focus on eliminating basic grammatical slip-ups and refining word choices related to map descriptions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main developments and an overview are presented clearly, though some details could be described with higher precision.
Ensure all features are described accurately, including referencing key details like scale or unchanged natural features where relevant.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged in logical paragraphs, but cohesive devices and transitions between sentences are occasionally mechanical.
Use a wider variety of natural linking words to connect details within and between paragraphs smoothly.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts to use location-specific vocabulary, but features spelling mistakes and awkward word choices.
Work on correct spelling of common terms and use more standard descriptive expressions rather than awkward formulations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, but grammatical errors in agreement and preposition use persist.
Proofread carefully to fix subject-verb agreement errors and refine prepositional phrases describing positions.