The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
Sample Response
Two maps of an island illustrate the differences before and after numerous constructions for tourists. We can see that a bare island was notably transformed to facilitate visiting tourists and it did not alter the natural composition of the island. It can be seen that many tourist facilities were added to the surface of the island. It is now available for tourists to go for swimming near the beach on foot and it connects the seashore with the accommodation and an area closed to the island centre. Next to that area, there is a reception block which lies between a restaurant that is in the north of the island and the vehicle track leads to the pier where people can go for sailing boats. Besides, many accommodations were constructed to let travellers stay on the island and majority of the cottages are near the beach. Interestingly, those constructions did not harm the natural views of the island.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrase Original: numerous constructions for tourists Suggested revision: the construction of tourist facilities Why it matters: Construction is normally uncountable when referring to this development process.
- 2. Avoid visual overstatement Original: a bare island Suggested revision: a largely undeveloped island Why it matters: The original island already contained a beach and several groups of trees.
- 3. Use countable noun Original: many accommodations Suggested revision: many accommodation units Why it matters: Accommodation is uncountable unless paired with a countable noun such as units.
- 4. Add definite article Original: majority of the cottages Suggested revision: the majority of the cottages Why it matters: Majority requires the definite article in this construction.
- 5. Refer to facilities Original: those constructions Suggested revision: the new facilities Why it matters: This reference is more specific and natural.
- 6. Describe retained features Original: views Suggested revision: features Why it matters: Views are not physical features that construction can preserve or remove.
- 7. Clarify time comparison Original: illustrate the differences before and after Suggested revision: illustrate how the island changed between the two periods Why it matters: The replacement states the map comparison more directly.
- 8. Use map language Original: notably transformed Suggested revision: substantially developed Why it matters: Developed more precisely describes the addition of buildings and routes.
- 9. Use natural purpose Original: facilitate visiting tourists Suggested revision: accommodate tourists Why it matters: This is the natural expression for providing facilities and lodging to visitors.
- 10. Report visible preservation Original: it did not alter the natural composition of the island Suggested revision: the existing trees were retained Why it matters: The maps support preservation of the trees, whereas natural composition is vague and overbroad.
- 11. Remove reporting frame Original: It can be seen that many tourist facilities Suggested revision: Many tourist facilities Why it matters: The reporting frame is redundant after the preceding overview.
- 12. Use concise location Original: added to the surface of the island Suggested revision: built on the island Why it matters: The original phrase is unnatural and unnecessarily wordy.
Suggested Rewrites
- numerous constructions for tourists the construction of tourist facilities
- a bare island a largely undeveloped island
- many accommodations many accommodation units
- majority of the cottages the majority of the cottages
- those constructions the new facilities
- views features
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its clear recognition that the formerly undeveloped island gained accommodation, a restaurant, reception, paths and a pier while retaining its trees. However, several spatial relationships are vague or inaccurate, and the single-paragraph presentation weakens the distinction between overview and detail. Prioritise a more precise account of the two accommodation clusters and their footpaths, separating the overall transformation from location-by-location supporting details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and most major additions are identified, but the two accommodation areas and some connections are described incompletely or inaccurately.
Describe the western and central accommodation clusters separately, noting their footpath links, and avoid unsupported claims about sailing or where most cottages are located.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description moves broadly from the overall change to individual facilities, but placing the entire response in one paragraph and using unclear references weakens progression.
Use separate introduction, overview and detail paragraphs, and name each location directly instead of relying on phrases such as 'that area'.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe development and location, including several less common items, though awkward collocations reduce precision.
Prefer standard map language such as 'was developed', 'is linked by a footpath' and 'lies to the north of' over vague expressions about constructions and the island's surface.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but faulty relative clauses, missing articles and overloaded sentences recur.
Separate long descriptions into shorter comparative sentences and check article use in phrases such as 'the majority of the cottages'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.