The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The given maps portray an island before and after the constructionexpansion of several tourist amenities. Following the redevelopmentOver the period, the island underwent a dramatic transformationwitnessed dramatic transformations from an undeveloped island with treesa completely bare land to a tourist resortstop. A beach used to be abandoned in the past, however nowadays it has become a swimming area. Next to the beach, several accommodation unitsseveral accommodations were built. Moreover, footpaths were built surrounding the accommodations. In the northern part of the islandMoving to the north area, a restaurant was established along with a vehicle track, which was connected to the reception in front of the restaurant. Moreover, a pier was added, makingadded making it easier for visitors arriving by boatvisitors and yachts to access the area. Few trees were cut to facilitate the construction, as can be seen. In summary, the island washad transformed in many areas, butin many areas; but an undeveloped area remaineda bare land remained in the eastern partnorth-eastern part. The newly added amenities would allow tourists to stayfacilitate the tourists to stay and enjoy the islandplace.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear tour of the principal new facilities and links, using varied map language and a recognisable overall change. However, calling the original island completely bare and asserting tree removal overstate what the map shows, while several descriptions and tense choices are awkward. Prioritise a fully accurate overview—tourist development concentrated in the west and centre while the east remained largely unchanged—then refine location phrases and verb forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most major additions are identified, including accommodation, paths, the reception, restaurant, pier, and swimming area, but the overview and tree-removal claim are not fully supported by the map.
Summarise the central pattern accurately and avoid claims about the original island being bare or trees being removed unless the maps clearly demonstrate them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description follows a broadly logical route through the developed island, although repeated "Moreover" links and a late summary make the progression somewhat mechanical.
Group the western accommodation area and the central transport facilities into separate, clearly sequenced detail paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary for describing development and location is reasonably varied, but phrases such as "tourist stop," "north area," and "several accommodations" are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural map-report terms such as "tourist destination," "northern area," and "accommodation units."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response shows some complex sentence control, while tense shifts, article choices, and awkward passive constructions remain noticeable but do not impede meaning.
Maintain a consistent past-tense description and revise forms such as "the beach was converted into a swimming area" and "a few trees."