The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The two maps showThe map shows how an island has been redesigned. Overall, the island has undergone some noticeablenoticable changes, namely the addition of a restaurantaddition of restaurant, new accommodation units and variousfew accomodations and various essential amenities.
TheAn island has been transformed into a tourist-orientedtouristically appealing environment. The reception was added in the center of thean island, which was surrounded by vehicle tracks. Several accommodation huts wereFew accomodations were added in a circular arrangementon a circular way on the west and the east side of thean island along with a footpath. On the north side of thean island, near the reception area, the restaurantrestauran was built, which is connected to the reception with a vehicle track.
On the west side of the island, awest side of an island the small area was dedicated to the beach, both prior to and after the redevelopment.both prior and after redesigning process. The beach was after used for swimming area for tourists visiting thean island. On the south, near the sea, a piersee the pier was added to the area, which was used for sailing.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay successfully highlights the main structural changes on the island, providing a clear overview and appropriate logical grouping. However, frequent mechanical errors in article usage, spelling, and phrasing obscure the overall precision of the report. Prioritizing accurate grammatical structures and basic spelling checks will significantly enhance clarity and presentation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies all key developments across the island and provides a clear general overview.
Ensure all details, such as how footpaths and vehicle tracks specifically connect facilities, are described with complete factual precision.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into paragraphs, maintaining a broadly clear progression throughout the text.
Vary cohesive markers beyond simple spatial prepositions to make transitions between sentence details smoother.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the necessary key features, though noticeable spelling mistakes and awkward word choices recur.
Carefully check the spelling of key words from the prompt and avoid non-standard word formations like 'touristically appealing'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is used, but errors in article selection and word order occur regularly.
Focus on the correct use of definite and indefinite articles, particularly when referring to specific map elements.