When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
In th econtemporary world, choosing between employment opportunities can potentially be challenging as there are various options in the job marketin job markets. Some people argue that remuneration is the most important aspect to consideran important aspect to be considered when choosing a job. However, I partially agree with this view because there are several different aspects we must look into when deciding on a career pathdeciding employment paths.
On the one hand, individuals should consider the salary they areget offered when choosing employment as it plays a significant role in boostingit can be considered significant in lifting employees' motivation to perform adequately. For example, I worked as a disability support worker in a casual role. I was offered a generous salary and was given highlyprofoundly challenging participants to support with personal care and community access.
Although I was not happy to work with the clients I was allocated to, the payment I received every fortnight motivated me to go to work everyday. Therefore, choosing a job which offers a high salaryhigh range of salary can be helpful to motivate employees to show up at work and perform better.
On the other hand, there are other aspects people should consider when choosing a job. Individuals need to be mindful of choosing a jobmindful about getting a job that is relevant to their knowledge, skills and interest. When the jobjo roles strongly align Deletewith the these aspects, workers are likely to be more satisfied and keen to work towards achieving personal and professional goals. For instance, I have recently joined a job which closely aligns with my work preference and educational background, thereby I am happy about the duties I perform everyday at work, I am keen to enhance my knowledge and skills that help me to improve and meet my key performance indicators.increase my key performance indicator. Furthermore, my work has a positive impact on my overall well-being as I enjoy doing it.
In conclusion, individuals should consider the remuneration that employers offer as it is important for some people to remain motivated at work; however, they also have to look into whether the job aligns with their capabilities and interest.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a well-developed argument addressing all parts of the prompt with relevant personal examples and a clear position throughout. To reach a higher score, refine punctuation errors such as comma splices and address minor typographical mistakes. Priorities should focus on polishing grammatical precision and enhancing cohesive linking between complex clauses.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt directly, taking a clear nuanced position and supporting it with relevant explanations and personal examples.
Develop supporting arguments with broader societal or professional evidence beyond personal anecdotes to strengthen the depth of discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress clearly across the text with adequate use of transitional devices.
Avoid run-on sentences and comma splices to ensure logical connections within longer compound-complex sentences remain seamless.
Lexical Resource
A good range of work-related vocabulary is used effectively, showing reasonable control over word choice and collocation.
Proofread carefully to eliminate simple typographical errors and enhance precision in word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures are used with high overall clarity, though occasional grammatical and punctuation slips occur.
Ensure proper clause linking by using appropriate conjunctions or semicolons instead of commas between independent clauses.