When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
We cannot deny that we work to earn money so that we can put food on the table for the family. However, we also look for job satisfaction, growth opportunity and social recognition from our careers and only salary can not make us happy in our professional life. I, therefore, believe that salary is not the most important aspect when choosing a job.
To commence with, salary is important because without money we will perhaps not get a job. Some people are always after money and do not hesitate to change their job if they are offered a higher salary. However, to others, job satisfaction is equally, or even sometimes more important as it ensures work-life balance. Many people would not compromise their job satisfaction for the money they are offered. Many top executives, who resign from large corporations in order to work for smaller companies or run their own companies, are great examples of how much they value job satisfaction over the wages they earn.
Moreover, "growth opportunities" is another aspect people often expect in their careers and it can become even more important than the initial wage they are offered. A moderate salary and a great career growth aspect are far better than a higher salary and no career growth - according to many professionals, and they are prudent enough to envision the future than to run after only money. Finally, people often want to be in a career that is socially appreciated and valued. For example, a few of my colleagues left high-paid private jobs to take government jobs only because that would give them social recognition, and I quite understand the rationale for their decisions. For them, status and power are more important than the money they earn.
In conclusion, job satisfaction which ensures a work-life balance is often more important than the money we get from our job. Moreover, career growth and social recognition often drive us to choose a job that brings us less money than we could otherwise make from other high-paying jobs.
Important aspects of a job other than "salary":
1. Job security 2. Job satisfaction 3. Great working environment 4. Opportunities for the use of skills and abilities 5. Appreciation and rewards 6. Feeling safe at the workplace 7. Social recognition 8. Passion for the work 9. Contributing to the betterment of the environment and people 10. Benefits and compensation 11. Respect and trust 12. Great co-workers and management 13. Retirement benefits 14. Good work-life balance 15. Learning and career development 16. Company's financial stability
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: opportunity Suggested revision: opportunities Why it matters: The general category is naturally expressed with the plural count noun.
- 2. Fix career preposition Original: from Suggested revision: in Why it matters: People seek satisfaction and recognition “in” their careers.
- 3. Place limiter correctly Original: only salary can not make us happy Suggested revision: salary alone cannot make us happy Why it matters: “Alone” correctly limits salary, and “cannot” is written as one word.
- 4. Match plural reference Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural pronoun “us” requires a plural reference to individual professional lives.
- 5. Use natural transition Original: commence Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: “To begin with” is the conventional transition in this context.
- 6. Use formal wording Original: are always after money Suggested revision: consistently prioritise income Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same idea in a more academic register.
- 7. Use idiomatic plural Original: change their job Suggested revision: change jobs Why it matters: “Change jobs” is the natural expression for moving from one position to another.
- 8. Fix preposition Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: “For others” correctly introduces the contrasting group whose priorities differ.
- 9. Fix comparison flow Original: is equally, or even sometimes more important Suggested revision: is equally important or sometimes even more important Why it matters: The revision removes disruptive commas and places the adverbs naturally.
- 10. Avoid absolute claim Original: as it ensures work-life balance Suggested revision: because it can support work-life balance Why it matters: “Can support” expresses the relationship precisely without presenting it as automatic.
- 11. State salary clearly Original: for the money they are offered Suggested revision: for the salary offered Why it matters: “Salary” is more precise than the general noun “money” in this employment context.
- 12. Use academic wording Original: great Suggested revision: clear Why it matters: “Clear examples” is more precise and suitably formal.
Suggested Rewrites
- opportunity opportunities
- from in
- only salary can not make us happy salary alone cannot make us happy
- life lives
- commence begin
- are always after money consistently prioritise income
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear disagreement and develops job satisfaction, career growth, and social recognition with relevant explanations and examples. Its principal weakness is the unintegrated sixteen-item list placed after the conclusion, which disrupts the finished argument and introduces undeveloped material. The highest-priority improvement is to delete that list and refine a few awkward comparisons within the otherwise coherent essay.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and well supported by three developed considerations, but the appended list adds numerous undeveloped points after the argument has concluded.
Remove the post-conclusion list and use the available space to deepen one existing example or acknowledge why salary may still matter.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main essay is logically sequenced and well paragraphed, while the raw numbered list after the conclusion significantly disrupts overall progression.
End with the conclusion and ensure every supporting point is integrated into a developed body paragraph rather than attached as notes.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a flexible range of work-related vocabulary, with occasional awkward collocations and comparative phrasing.
Refine expressions such as 'career growth aspect', 'socially appreciated', and 'envision the future than to run after only money'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is generally accurate and meaning remains clear, despite a few agreement and comparison errors.
Check singular-plural agreement and comparative forms, especially 'growth opportunities are' and 'rather than pursue money alone'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.