All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?
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Sample Response
Nowadays, the debate surrounding whether all university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement is increasingly debated today.has emerged as a controversial issue in contemporary society. In my view,From my perspective,I believe that students should keep a balance between studying overseas and completing work placements.doing work.
On the one hand, there are several advantages to students of studying abroad.advantages of students studying abroad. The most important reason is that students studying in other countries can meetis studying in other countries can meet classmates from different backgrounds,allowing them to learn more about various cultures.which can gain more knowledge about various cultures you want to know. For instance,the experience of living alone in a foreign country is important,which notcannot only strengthen their communication skills,but can also develop the habit of saving money. However, living abroadHowever living abroad could be dangerous,because there are many countries currently experiencing conflict,are many countries are falling into war, they don’t have enough experience to ensure their personal safety.protect themselves well.
On the other hand,future employment is an undeniableunignored challenge for young people; one of the main reasons is thatyoung people, one of the main reasons is that work experience can help students gain practical skills, which are essentialpractical skills,which is important for their future careers. This is mainly because students can learn how to communicate with colleagues and deal with different problems in the work place. As a result,they will have more advantages when looking for jobs after graduation.
In conclusion, I believe that both studying abroad and doing work placements have their own benefits, so universities should provide students with opportunities to experience both, whichthat can help them develop different skills and prepare for their future careers.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay presents clear arguments regarding the benefits of studying abroad and gaining practical work experience, maintaining a comprehensible message throughout. However, it misinterprets the prompt by comparing the two options rather than evaluating whether making them compulsory offers more benefits than drawbacks. To improve, explicitly address the prompt's trade-offs and eliminate frequent sentence-structure errors like comma splices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the benefits of both study abroad and work experience, but it fails to evaluate whether mandatory inclusion of these options carries more advantages than disadvantages.
Ensure your thesis and body paragraphs directly weigh the total advantages against the disadvantages of the policy proposed in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a basic four-paragraph structure, but the internal logical progression is weakened by a prompt misinterpretation and repetitive transition signals.
Use cohesive devices more naturally to show direct relationships between sentences rather than relying on formulaic paragraph starters.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate to convey the central ideas clearly, though it relies on somewhat limited word choices and basic phrasing.
Incorporate a broader variety of topic-specific collocations and precise vocabulary related to higher education and professional development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While complex structures are attempted, frequent grammatical errors such as comma splices and run-on clauses disrupt the flow of writing.
Focus on correct clause linking by using subordinating conjunctions or relative pronouns properly instead of joining complete sentences with commas.