All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?
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Sample Response
Nowadays, the debate surrounding whether all university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placementdoing work placement has emerged as a controversialemerged an controversial issue in contemporary society. Fromsociety, from my perspective,I believe that students should strikekeep a balance between studying overseas and completing a work placement.doing work.
On the one hand, there are several advantages of students studying abroad. The most important reason is studying in other countries can meet classmates from different backgrounds,which can gain more knowledge about various cultures you want to know. For instance,the experience of living alone in a foreign country is important, whichimportant,that cannot only strengthen their communication skills,but can also develop the habit of saving money. However, living abroadBut living abroad could be dangerous,because many countries are engaged in conflict, and studentsbecause there are many countries are falling into war, they don’t have enough experience to protect themselves well.
On the other hand,future employmentthe future employment is a significantan unignored challenge for young people, one of the main reasons is thatone of main reason is that work experience can help students gain practical skills,which is important for their future careers. This is mainly because students can learn how to communicate with colleagues and deal with different problems in the workplace. As a result, theywork place,as a result,they will have more advantages when looking for jobs after graduation.
In conclusion, I believe that both studying abroad and doing work placements have their own benefits, so universities should provide students with opportunities to experienceexpense both, that can help them develop different skills andands prepare for their future careers.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay attempts to discuss studying abroad and work placements, but it misinterprets the prompt by comparing the two options against each other rather than directly weighing their overall advantages against disadvantages. While the candidate organizes the text into clear paragraphs, frequent punctuation errors like comma splices and inaccurate word choices obscure the message. To raise the score, focus on directly answering the exact prompt question and improving sentence boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response partially addresses the prompt by comparing study abroad with work placements rather than evaluating whether the overall benefits of these requirements outweigh the drawbacks.
Carefully read the prompt to ensure your position directly addresses whether advantages outweigh disadvantages rather than choosing between the two options.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraph structure is present, but logical progression is compromised by misdirected arguments and severe sentence-linking errors.
Use appropriate transitions between ideas and avoid joining independent clauses with simple commas to ensure smooth flow.
Lexical Resource
The range of vocabulary is limited, with noticeable word choice errors and awkward phrasing throughout the response.
Focus on using words accurately in context rather than attempting unfamiliar expressions like 'expense both' or 'unignored'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly comma splices and incorrect clause structures, which impede readability.
Practice writing complex sentences using correct relative pronouns and full stop punctuation instead of running sentences together with commas.