The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Sample Response
The pie charts depict the proportions of a school's spendingthe amount spent by a school in the UK annually for the years 1981, 1991 and 2001.
As is observed from the pie charts, teachers’ salaries accounted for the highest percentage for both the years and insurance had the smallest proportion of money spent by the UK school in both three selected years.
In 1981, 40% of the total school spending was used for teachers’ salaries and it increasedit has increased to 50% of the total amount in 1991. In 2001, the percentage fell slightlydropped a little, to 45%, which waswhich was 45% which was 5% higher than that in 1981. The money spent on other workers’ salaries decreased gradually from 1981 to 2001. It was initially 28% in 1981, declined to 22% in 1991 and eventually dropped to 15% in 2001.
Spending on furniture and equipment and on resources such as books wasThe spending on furniture and equipment and resources such as books were the same in 1981, at 15%which was 15% of the total amount. In 1991Whereas in 1991, more money was spentmore money spent on resources than furniture and equipment, 20% and 5% respectively, but the reverse wasis true in 2001for the year 2001. 23% of the spending was on furniture and equipmentfor the purpose of buying furniture and equipment and only 9% of the amount on resources such as booksfor the resources like books. From 1981 to 2001Starting from the year 1981 to 2001, the amount spent on insurance increased steadily. Only a small proportion of money was allocated to insurancemoney allocated for insurance in 1981, which was 2 %, increased to 3% in 1991 and 8% in 2001.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report is strongest in its complete, accurate coverage of all five spending categories and the main changes across the three years. Its main limitation is grammatical control, with fragments, missing auxiliaries and inconsistent tense weakening otherwise clear comparisons. Prioritise revising sentence boundaries and verb forms, especially around the furniture-and-resources reversal and the insurance trend, while sharpening the overview to mention the strongest increases and decreases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All categories and years are covered accurately, with a valid overview of teachers' salaries as the largest share and insurance as the smallest.
Strengthen the overview by also highlighting the steady fall in other workers' salaries and the sharp reversal between resources and equipment.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and logical grouping make the changes easy to follow, although a fragment and some repeated relative clauses interrupt the flow.
Integrate the sentence beginning "Whereas" into the following comparison and remove repeated wording such as "which was 45% which was."
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend and comparison vocabulary is used accurately enough, with only occasional awkward phrases such as "both three selected years."
Use more natural quantifier and category phrases, including "all three years," "spending on books" and "the proportion allocated to insurance."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted successfully, but recurring tense, agreement, auxiliary and sentence-boundary errors reduce control.
Keep chart descriptions consistently in the past tense and check every clause for a finite verb, especially "more money was spent" and "money was allocated."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Your response
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