An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
"Change is the essence of lifethe essence of the life ". I feel that in today's competitive world, one should be professional in multidisciplinary fields to survive. As the prompt suggestsAs what author mentioned that the increased number of people today changingchange their career and living places in their lives, is correct and is a positive thing as far as I am concerned. I will explainBelow I will justify why I say that it is a positive development.
Firstly, I think that it is a valuable skilla critical thing to change career and place from one to another because it requires a lot of resiliencepotential and adaptability to do this. This happens when a crisis occurs in any particular field then a lot of people lose their jobs and positions of those people become chaotic. So in that situation, if a person has knowledge in some other fields, then he can actually sustain. One such instance was, my uncle Jim who was working as a JAVA developer in a software company, during that time his field had an economic crisis and many people lost their jobslots of people have lost their jobs. Then he was also a professional as a teacherin teaching, so he joined as a professor and taught lessons to the students. He changed his career and was stable enough in life.
Secondly, I also support changing living placesI even support changes the living places because one likes to move to the place where he gets a good salarygood salary in his profession. Most of the people migrate from one place to anotherfrom place to another in search of jobs also and the best facilities to live a comfortable life. These days it is becoming quite commonit is becoming quite a common that people move from one place to another. This not only brings good opportunitiesfetches good propensities but also allows people to experience different culturesalso come across different culture and lifestyle. This could happen even because of some discrimination in that place so that a person moves away to get opportunities to live happily. One such example was: a person called Mark who was living in a village had to leave his home in search of a job in the city as he was a computer science engineer. He never had a chance to do a job in his village, as no company existed in that town. Now he is an engineering executiveexecutive engineering and earning a very good amountransom of salary and has all facilities with him.
In conclusionSo I would like to conclude by saying that it is always a positive point to change career when the situation demands it and is also a good move to change where they livechange the living places. One will be satisfied when his work is appreciated and gets a good salary, so in search of this one can definitely change his or her career or place but not in every instance.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear positive position, developed through relevant examples of career adaptability, employment security, and relocation for better opportunities. However, it overlooks the possible disruption and instability created by repeated changes, and frequent awkward word choices and overloaded sentences weaken clarity. Add a brief concession before reaffirming the argument, and prioritise simpler sentence structures with precise employment and migration vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear positive view and develops reasons related to adaptability, employment, and better opportunities, but it does not consider possible negative effects.
Add a short concession about instability, family disruption, or stress, then explain why the advantages still outweigh these problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognizable structure and uses examples, but linking is sometimes mechanical and several sentences are overloaded or awkwardly connected.
Use more direct topic sentences and make each example clearly serve one main idea.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary for the topic, but many word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including propensities, ransom of salary, and executive engineering.
Replace ambitious but inaccurate words with precise employment and migration vocabulary such as prospects, income, career stability, and relocation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, but errors in articles, tense, prepositions, and sentence structure are frequent.
Simplify long sentences and check verb agreement after relative clauses and general plural subjects.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.