As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Sample Response
In today's worldtoday's modern world, most people spend the majority of their liveslife working. Therefore, some people assert that job satisfaction plays an important role in promoting individual well-beingmoulding a wellbeing individual. In this essay, we will examine what are the factors that lead to job satisfaction and how realistic is the demand for job satisfaction for all the employees.
There are several main factorspoints that contribute to job satisfaction. To begin with,To begin, a high salary is undoubtedly a key factor inis, undoubtedly, the key factor towards job satisfaction. People nowadays are becoming more status-conscious and materialistic which lead them to the desires of buying things including the most up-to-date electronic gadgets for men and trendy handbags, shoes and dresses for women. This is becauseIt is due to the reason that they may want to gain a sense of satisfactionget self-satisfaction after spending their time workingtheir precious time working for a company. However, a high paid job is not always available and it is nearly impossible to offer it to all the workers becauseowing to the reason that the profit a company makesthe profit of a company made may not be able to cover all of a company's expensesall the expenditure of a company.
In addition, an organisation's effective welfare systema good welfare system of an organisation is, admittedly, a major concern for employeesthe major concern of the employees. If every company is able to guarantee retireesguarantee to pay the retirees a substantial pensiona huge amount of pension, it will unquestionably allow every employee to get satisfied with their jobs. With athe well-organised welfare system, every retired will not be a burden to their family, in return, they still can help to support their family financially. Nevertheless, it is not provided by every company to pay pensions to every retired of their company as they may not have extra money as they have to make preparations for the unanticipated financial problems of their company.
In conclusion, although there are numerous factors that contribute to one's job satisfaction, not all companies are able to fulfil their employees' demands. I believe that every individual can get satisfied with their jobs one day in the near future as long as our nation continues to prosper and flourish.
[ Essay by - Lee Wing Qeen ]
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay addresses both questions through two relevant factors and links each one to the financial limits employers face. Its main weakness is a narrow, repetitive treatment of satisfaction, followed by a conclusion that shifts from present-day limits to unsupported future optimism. Prioritise a consistent judgement about universal satisfaction and develop a broader factor such as meaningful work or supportive management.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Salary and employee welfare are relevant factors, and practical limits are discussed, but development is narrow and the final prediction is insufficiently supported.
Add a non-financial factor and give a consistent answer explaining why complete job satisfaction for every worker is or is not realistic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is clearly paragraphed and progresses from salary to welfare and feasibility, although ideas within paragraphs are sometimes repetitive.
Use one focused explanation and one consequence for each factor, then make the conclusion follow directly from those findings.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for employment, finance, and welfare, but repeated wording and awkward collocations reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'promote individual wellbeing', 'well-paid work', 'employee benefits', and 'retirees'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors in agreement, noun phrases, pronouns, and clause construction reduce control.
Correct indirect-question word order and check agreement carefully, especially in clauses about employees, companies, and retirees.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.