Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
There is no hesitation in saying that celebrities like film stars and sports stars are paid considerably higher amounts of money thanconsiderably high amount of money than those who are in important professions like public administration, medicine and engineeringbureaucracy, doctors and engineers. Generally, Sports starsSport starts, apart from excelling in their game, they also entertain a large number of people. This naturally gets the attention of the public and the media. So they become very popular. Commercial product manufacturers take advantage of this popularity and they use these famous personalities to promote their productsproduct by paying large amounts of moneyample amount of money. A great example for this is Sachin Tendulkar, A famous cricketer in India, who is treated as the god of cricket. He acted in many advertisementsadvertisement films supporting numerous commercialmercenary brands. Most of his income is out this job than batting in the field. This proves that the celebrities earn more money by influencing society than doing their own job. On the other hand, the main reason people in crucial professions are not paidfor the people in crucial professions is not paid as much as sports stars are due to lack of recognitionidentification. These people normally focus on their own worknormally stick to their own job and most importantly the results of their workoutcomes of their jobs are not entertaining. Also, the media do not show interest in covering their workmedia doesn’t show interest in focusing their work. Even if a documentary is broadcasttelecasted on their achievements, people just watch and ignore it. A great example of this is Mr Vishweswar, who was a chief architect of one of the major irrigation projects in India. In his project, the design of the reservoir is so amazing that it has become the key sourceresource of water for thousands of hectares of cultivated landhectors of cultivating the land. Though his achievement played a major rolecontributed major role in the eradication of poverty in south India by reducing the cost of farming, he was not paid any extra money for this. This proves that people can’t become wealthy by helping societyhelping the society. In conclusion, I strongly feel that the attitude of the people should change. They should identify the real heroes. Every individual should realise that the people who benefit societygive benefits to the society should get paid more thanthat those who entertain them.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear opinion and supports its discussion with extended, relevant examples from sport and public service. Its main limitation is that it explains why sports figures earn more more fully than it examines whether that difference is justified, while frequent language errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to frame each side explicitly as an argument about fairness and express those arguments in more controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, with relevant examples, although the justification side is treated mainly as an explanation of earnings.
Develop each view as a direct argument about whether the pay gap is fair before evaluating it in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from athletes' commercial appeal to the social value of other professionals, but the absence of paragraphing weakens the structure.
Separate the introduction, each opposing view, and the conclusion into clear paragraphs with focused topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and word choices reduce accuracy.
Prioritise natural combinations such as highly paid, public recognition, and benefit society, and check each less familiar word before using it.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, but agreement, article, comparative, and sentence-structure errors occur frequently.
Edit each sentence for a clear subject-verb pattern, then check articles, agreement, and comparative forms systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.