Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, sports professionals are receivingobtaining more attention among people from all over the world. Media is one of the main reasons that make a person gainget fame in no time. So sportspeople arethe sports persons are being treated like celebrities worldwide. To give a piece of one's mind, talented sports persons should be paid morecompensated with more pay. By contrastTo be at loggerheads, some might feel this suggestion is unfair. It is a fact that not all the sports stars are more talented thantalented than the people who workworks in other esteemed professions such as doctors, scientists and politicians. They play an important role in the growth of their nation. Whereas sports persons play for themselves by using their country's name only as a label, sometimes they bring success and fame for the whole nation. Because of media, people pay close attentiongive keen attention to sports celebrities and treat other professions scornfully. In fairnessIn an honour bound, those who have genuine talentmere talents must be paid a huge amount of moneypaid with a huge amount of money. It is trueindeed that not all sports persons are successful in their careers. People who have the audacity and hard working nature are the onesone who relish victoryrelishes with the victory. Even though they play for their personal goal, achievements they make in sports also make the nation very proud. Considering this reason, it is fully justified to let a sports person earnlet a sports person to earn a great deal of money. To conclude, the sports professionals with sufficient abilitysuffice tendency to accomplish something in their careerscareer are justified in earningare justified to acquire huge earnings. It clearly depicts that, the sports profession hassports professions has more value than other essential professions around the world.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response’s strongest aspect is its attempt to acknowledge both fairness concerns and the national pride created by successful athletes, followed by a stated opinion. Its main limitation is that the two views are not clearly separated or sufficiently developed, and frequent misused expressions and grammatical errors make several claims difficult to follow. The highest-priority improvement is to organise one reason for each side into separate paragraphs and express the final comparison in simple, precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both positions and an opinion are identifiable, but the reasoning is limited, sometimes contradictory, and unsupported by specific explanation or examples.
Develop why market-generated sports income may be justified and why the social value of other professions may make the pay gap unfair.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a basic movement from unfairness to justification and conclusion, but the unbroken paragraph and confusing transitions weaken progression.
Use separate paragraphs for each view and a conclusion that clearly weighs the two arguments without introducing a contradictory claim.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant vocabulary for fame, talent, professions, achievement, and national pride appears, but frequent misused idioms and collocations impede precision.
Avoid forced expressions such as “to be at loggerheads,” “in an honour bound,” and “suffice tendency,” and use direct academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is sometimes clear, but frequent errors in comparison, agreement, articles, sentence fragments, and verb patterns occur throughout.
Construct shorter complete sentences and check each subject-verb pair and comparative form before adding complex clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.