Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
I stronglytotally disagree with the idea of high-level employees leaving at the age of 55 to make room for the youngerupcoming generation. While it is true that the energy and fresh ideas of younger workersthe energy level and fresh ideas of youth can rejuvenate a company, the steady hand of experience can still provide the best guidance to a companycan still best guide a company in most cases.
There is an English sayingIn English there is a saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” In the fast-paced world of business, bolstered by even faster highhi-tech innovations, a younger, more adaptable minda younger more pliant mind would seem to be able to adapt with greater flexibility, while such an environment might boggle an older, less adaptable mindan older more set-in-its-ways mind. Take, for example, Microsoft’s Bill Gates, whose energy and brilliant insights as a youth helped him to pioneer new territory in the computer software world and establish a digital empire. Now as a more mature CEO, this king of the “computer” mountain is constantly on the verge of being knocked down by emerging digital entrepreneursupcoming digeratti entrepreneurs. However, it is now the experience he has accumulated as an older man which keeps him on top. So, combining the vigour and innovation of younger workers with the experience of older workers would seem to be the most effective approach in businessthe winning hand in the world of business.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response states a clear position and uses sophisticated language to explain how youthful innovation can complement senior experience. However, at 206 words it is substantially under length, and the single extended example does not fully develop why compulsory departure at 55 should be rejected; the priority is to add a distinct, well-supported reason and a concise conclusion that directly answers the policy proposal.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear disagreement and a relevant rationale, but its under-length treatment relies mainly on one example and remains insufficiently developed.
Add another fully explained reason against compulsory retirement and finish with a direct conclusion on the age-55 proposal.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning progresses clearly from acknowledging younger workers' strengths to arguing for the value of experience, with cohesive links used effectively.
Use a separate concluding paragraph and divide the long discussion so each main reason has a clearer structural role.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, flexible, and often sophisticated, with effective idiomatic and business-related phrasing despite one spelling lapse.
Correct the spelling of specialized terms and avoid imagery that risks distracting from the precise argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is handled with strong accuracy and control throughout the response.
Sustain this accuracy in a longer response while varying the structure of extended sentences for maximum clarity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.