Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
While some argue that building more sports facilities is the most effective methodbest possible method of improving public health, others believe that this approach is not very effective, and other actions are needed. I agree with the latter opinion becauseas although doing sports plays a key role in leading a healthy way of life, large-scale health education campaignsmass educational activities about different ways to improve healthdifferent ways of health improvement are a better option because they can target more people. On the one hand, exercise improvesdoing sports influences people’s health and well-being substantiallyenormously. Not only does it improve our strength and resiliencemake us stronger and more resilient, but it also strengthenstrains our cardiovascular systems and, thus, reduces the risk of premature deathchances to die earlier than we could have. In contrast, those who lead a sedentary lifestyle miss out on these benefitsdeprive themselves of these benefits. Hence, the more sports facilities are availablethe more sports facilities will be available to the public, the more people can exercisethe more people could do sports and, thus, stay healthy. However, I do not agree that this is the best way to improve public health as the majority of people either just do not want to or cannot participate in sportcan not go in for sports for various reasonsbecause of different reasons. On the other hand, informing and educating people about different ways of improving their health is fundamental to health and well-beingis a foundation of health and well-being. If people knew the consequences of drinking too much alcohol and why they need to eat healthy food and avoid ultra-processed food, for example, then they would take a more sensible approach to their health and would have more motivation. Hence, I am convinced that this approach is much better than just opening more sports facilities as it reaches the whole population rather than only a small grouptargets all people and not just a small part of them. To conclude, although opening more sports facilities will make some people healthier, I believe that educating people is more important as it will target more people overall.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its direct treatment of both views and its consistently clear opinion, supported by relevant explanations of exercise and public education. The main limitation is presentation as one continuous paragraph, which weakens the visible structure despite clear internal progression. The highest priority is to separate the introduction, each view, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs while refining a few awkward expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, and the preference for broad health education is clear and well developed throughout.
Deepen the comparison by explaining more precisely why education would change behavior among people who resist existing health advice.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a logical sequence and cohesive markers guide the argument, but the lack of paragraph breaks weakens organization.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each main view, and the conclusion to make the progression immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with occasional awkward combinations such as mass educational activities and chances to die earlier.
Choose more natural collocations, such as public health campaigns and reducing the risk of premature death.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only occasional non-impeding errors in form and phrasing.
Refine comparative and conditional constructions, especially forms such as the more facilities are available, the more people can exercise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.