The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Sample Response
The provided bar graph compares the groundwater and public-supply water consumptionaverage ground and supply water consumptions in seven industries in some countries over one yearseven different industries in several countries in a year. In general, those industries use more groundwater than supply water and the chemical industry is the highest water consumer. Looking at the details, the chemical industry usesrequires about 430 million cubic meters of ground water and 240 million cubic meters of public supply water. The chemical industry's total water useThis figure was more than twice that of any other industryis accounted as almost twice higher than other industries, while the food/drinks, metal and paper industries usedfor instances, meal/beverages, metal and paper manufacturers utilise only 110, 240, and 190 million m3 of ground water andand in addition, 190, 90 and 20 million m3 of public supply water respectivelyevery year respectively. Metal and paper industries used almost one-half and one-third as much water, respectively, asare reckoned as almost half and one-twelveth water users respectively than the chemical industry. In contrast, the fuel and textile industriesfuel and textiles industries have similar total water useutilise the same amount of water and they are the two lowest water consumersthe lowest water consumers usingwith pertaining figures of 70 and 80 million m3 of groundwater, respectively, and 10 million m3 each from the public supplyper year of ground water respectively and with the similar quantity of public supply water of 10 million m3. Finally, the machinery industry consumes the least groundwater, atthe least ground water of 10 million m3 and 100 million m3 of public-supply water, which is slightly higher100 million m3 public supply water which is slightly higher than the public supply water use of the metal industry.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers all seven industries, identifies chemicals as the largest user, and supports the description with many relevant figures. Its effectiveness is reduced by inaccurate comparisons, especially the claim that fuel and textiles use the same amount and the unclear one-twelfth comparison, while frequent awkward phrasing weakens precision. Prioritise checking every comparison against the chart and expressing ratios in simple, accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main pattern and all industries are covered, but several comparisons are inaccurate or unclear.
Correct the fuel-textiles comparison and replace the misleading one-twelfth claim with a chart-supported comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a generally understandable sequence, but a single dense paragraph and awkward referencing weaken progression.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs grouped by high and low water use.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic and comparison vocabulary, but frequent collocational errors reduce precision.
Prefer natural phrases such as consumes, approximately twice as much as, and food and drinks industry.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, although errors in articles, comparison forms, agreement, and sentence construction recur.
Use shorter comparison sentences and check article use and comparative structures systematically.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.