An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is noticeable today that a significant number of people are shifting their careers and places of residencetheir careers and living places during the course of their lives, domestically or even internationally. In my opinion, it is a positive phenomenon that has its impact on both personal lives and societyin both, personal lives and the society in general. Life is dynamic, and people tend to adapt to change in all aspects. It is no longer strangeLife is dynamic and people tend to adapt to change in all aspects, it is no longer strange to notice people from people from different cultures living togetherdifferent races living together and interacting in a day-to-day routine at work and in residential communitiesin work and living places. A good example of this change is the Arabian Gulf countries where East and West intersect and a new community identity developsa new community characteristic is evolved. This has had a positive effectThis has reflected positively in the whole community, people become more open-mindedpeople get more and more open-minded, having less resistance to new ideas, the knowledge and experience are shared from different sources giving the best out of this mixture, everyone contributes and the result is international. OnIn a personal level, the change can be significant. Having lived through this experience myselfthe change is huge, having lived this experience myself, I can say I'm not the same anymore, interacting and dealing with people coming from different places all over the world with different backgrounds had a significant impact on me in both personal and professional levels, now I can adapt more easily to changes and foreign ideasidea, I appreciate culturallycultural motivated actions and decisions I never thought of or imagined I can accept and live with before. Regarding career changeEmphasizing more on the career change, I think it is positive not to restrict yourself to a certain career path, having the flexibility to move easily if needed to a different career or field gives the power to change and gain more knowledge and experience continuing to learn as you grow olderkeeping learning as you grow old, it is a cumulative process that strengthens the personality and opens the door for future potential opportunities. In conclusion, change is a principal element of human nature, one should not fight or resist it whether it's a career or living place or country change, it has its positive effects and becomes easiergets more and easier with today's globalisation and integration in life.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear positive position and develops relevant benefits of changing careers and living places, using personal and social examples that give the discussion substance. The main weakness is that the argument is delivered through long, loosely controlled sentences and gives little consideration to potential drawbacks. The strongest improvement would be to structure the ideas into distinct paragraphs, acknowledge one credible risk, and then explain why the benefits still outweigh it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear positive position and develops benefits of moving and changing careers, but it gives little attention to possible negative effects.
Add a short concession about instability, family disruption, or career risk, then explain why the positives still outweigh it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a broad logical flow, but most of it is one long chain of ideas with limited paragraph control and some run-on sentences.
Separate the discussion into paragraphs and reduce long sentences into clearer units.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is reasonably wide and often topic-relevant, though some collocations and word forms are inaccurate.
Refine collocations such as at a personal level, culturally motivated decisions, career path, and future opportunities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is some complex sentence use, but comma splices, article errors, and awkward clauses reduce accuracy.
Use full stops between independent clauses and check prepositions after level, impact, and adapt.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.