Cinema attendance in some countries is on the decline. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?
Sample Response
It is believed that the number of people who watch films at the cinemawatch films in cinema has been declining in the past few years. The following essay will discuss in detail the reasonsdiscuss in details about reasons why attendanceit is decreasing, and some action plans that could be taken to resolve the issue. For a number of reasons, the number of people who go to the cinema has been declining nowadays. Firstly, it is because home theatre systems have becomedue to home theatre system become more affordable these days. As many electronic retailers offer various kinds of discounts or instalment programs, a lot of people own home theatre devices these dayshome theatre devices nowadays, and they choose to watch films at home. Secondly, it is because piratedpirate films are sold freely in some countries, mostly in developing countriesthird world countries. Illegal retailers offer various kinds of movies, from drama, cartoon, action and even foreignethnic films and the price of these piratedpirate films is very affordable. As a result, the public would choose to buy these films rather than going to the cinema. However, there are several things that the government and people could do to solve the problem. The government should have strict regulationsstrict and proper regulations about selling illegal films. Illegal retailers should be closed and the owner should be punished in accordance with the relevant regulationsthe valid regulation. People who purchase or own illegal films should also be given penaltiesgiven some detentions as well. As for cinema owners, they should have some innovations or upgrade their cinema buildings. For example, they could convert the existing cinema into a 3D cinema and upgrade the sound system to a newer version, as they would attract more visitors. In conclusion, cinema attendanceattendances are declining lately, because more people are owning home theatres system and choose to buy illegal films. To solve the issue, cinema ownersowner should upgrade their theatres and the government should make proper regulationsmake a proper regulation about pirated films.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the task with relevant causes and practical measures, and its meaning remains generally clear. Its main weakness is that the discussion is list-like and narrowly centred on home theatres and piracy, while the single-paragraph structure and recurring language errors reduce clarity. The highest priority is to organise causes and solutions into separate paragraphs, add a wider cause, and link each measure directly to it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both causes and measures for declining cinema attendance. The main ideas are relevant and practical, but development is somewhat list-like and the causes focus narrowly on home theatres and piracy.
Explain one wider cause, such as streaming convenience or ticket prices, and connect each measure directly to a cause.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer has a clear internal order, but it is written as one long paragraph. Cohesive devices such as firstly, secondly, however, and as for are functional but mechanical.
Use paragraph breaks for introduction, causes, measures, and conclusion, with clearer cause-solution links.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is relevant to cinema, illegal films, regulations, and technology. Some collocations are inaccurate, including in cinema, home theatre system become, pirate films, and detentions.
Use natural terms such as cinema attendance, home theatre systems, pirated films, penalties, regulations, and cinema owners.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay is generally understandable, but frequent article, plural, and verb-form errors occur. Long sentences sometimes create awkward structures, though meaning usually remains clear.
Check countable nouns and verb agreement, especially systems, films, owners, regulations, and attendance.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Cinema attendance in some countries is on the decline. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.