Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, famous athletes earn a huge amount of moneyhuge amount of money while even great scientists’ incomesincome can hardly reach one-tenthreach to one-tenth of them. People have been sharply polarised by this issue; hence, few people can be found in the middle position. But what doesdo each group state? Advocates of talented athletessportsmen claim they are unique in their field. They can captureabsorb the attention of hundreds of millions of television viewersof hundreds of millions to TV screens as a consequence of their brilliant performance. Therefore, either match organisersthe manager of matches or team owners can advertise in prime time or on their jerseys and make fortunes. In economic terms, supply and demand dictate commoditycommodities prices in the market. If a strong demand and limited supplya severe shortage exist for these heroes, why should they undervalue themselves? After all, this is how capitalism works. On the other handOn the opposite front, many people feela vast crowd feels this reality is an injustice. They argue that those who are high achievers in other fields are unique, too. Furthermore, they compare the net income of some gifted scholars with mediocre football players and the outcome is unfair in their viewawful in their viewpoint. Surely, not all scientists earn the sameall scientists don’t earn the same, but even NobelNoble laureates earn less than sports celebrities. For instance, one of my brilliantgenius colleagues complains non-stop, comparing his salary with a renowned superstar, Ronaldo. Although he has a good wage in comparison with our coworkers, he needs to save all his earnings to reach Ronaldo’s weekly income levelreach to Ronaldo’s weekly income level. All in all, I think both parties have some truthsome elements of truth in their remarks. Nonetheless, the reality, however, harsh it is, will not changevary unless the economic system evolves. Capitalism is not a matter of morality. To make it ethical, fromin my point of view, a tax code with no loopholes should be in place which has higher rates for those with multimillion monthly packages to compensate this bitter situation and dedicate this money to the well-being of humanity.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its balanced, economically informed discussion, which presents a nuanced position and a relevant policy response. Its main limitation is that awkward phrasing and recurring grammatical slips sometimes blunt otherwise sophisticated ideas, while the absence of visible paragraph breaks weakens organisation. Prioritise clearer sentence construction, more natural collocations, and distinct paragraphing for each stage of the argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored with relevant reasoning, and the final position is nuanced, clear, and supported by a practical tax proposal.
Develop the fairness argument with a less anecdotal example and explain more directly why the proposed tax response resolves the imbalance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through the opposing views to a conclusion, but the response lacks clear visual paragraphing and occasionally uses mechanical transitions.
Separate the introduction, each view, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with focused topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary communicates complex economic and social ideas, although several collocations are unnatural or imprecise.
Replace awkward combinations such as “absorb the attention … to TV screens” with natural, precise phrasing and check word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring article, agreement, preposition, and clause-construction errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, articles, and unnecessary prepositions, especially constructions using “reach” and relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.