Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Nowadays, many organisations are still dominateddominating by older employees. Some managers are in their 50s or olderare ages 50s and above and still managing big companies even though they experience some health problemseven they feel some health problems. For this reasoninstance, other people believe that companies should require employees in high-ranking positionsemployees who work in a high rank to retire earlyto have early retirement at the age of 55 to give way to the younger generation. In my opinion, I strongly agree that a person at a high levelthe person with high level in an establishment should give up work at the age of 55 in order to provide opportunities to younger people. Because new generations are more aggressive and brave to try and experiment variety of solutions to problems and discover new projects to contribute to the success of an industry, they always become the de facto for the success of a company. Young people are also more physically fit and less vulnerable to some illnesses, unlike older peopleunlike to those who are old. Being in good healthHaving a good health when managing a businessin managing business is highly valuablehas a significant value in order to be productive and maximise the working hours of an employee. Furthermore, younger people are easy to jive on which is a good characteristic of a leader to promote harmonious relationships in an organisation. However, older managersold manager, although they are very experienced and competent in running a businesscompetent in a running a business, are easily fatigued and cannot handle long working hourslong time period of work that may result in decreased productivity and outputdecrease productions and output. They are also more prone to developingdevelop diseases related to age that may interfere and delay meetings and transactions. Moreover, their decision making is also old fashioned and they are afraid to discover something new and stick to a single approachstick only in one baseline which may hinder the growth and popularitydecline the improvement and popularity of a company. In conclusion, institutions should urge people who work at a high level to stop working at the age of 55 in order to give the chance to the succeeding generation.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers several relevant reasons concerning younger and older managers. Its main limitation is that these points remain broad and sometimes stereotypical, while frequent awkward wording and grammatical errors reduce precision despite generally clear meaning. The highest priority is to develop fewer arguments with specific explanation or examples, then edit sentence structures and word choices for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement is sustained and supported by relevant reasons, but the ideas are broad and only partly developed.
Develop two central reasons in depth with specific explanations or realistic examples instead of adding several general claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a broadly logical sequence, although the single-block structure and mechanical linking weaken organisation.
Divide the response into purposeful paragraphs and use clearer internal progression rather than relying heavily on linking words.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Prioritise accurate common combinations such as senior managers, reduced productivity, and adapt easily before using less familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, and sentence-formation errors remain evident.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement, articles, plural forms, and complete clause structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.