Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is argued that sports facilities shouldthe sports facilities should be increased in number to improve citizens’ health, while others claim that other measures are more necessaryother initiatives are more essential to be conducted. While I support the idea that buildinginstalling more sports facilities would help ordinary people to enhance their general health, I am more convinced that other effective measures should be taken.
On the one hand, people’s general health status can be greatly improvedcould have been improved greatly through exercisevia exercising. Evidence suggestsIt is proven that working out increasesfastens the amount of oxygen to the brain, helping people be more focusedconcentrative and optimistic. Therefore, lack of physical exercise or insufficient physical movements one’s working performance may be impacted and less productive. For example, Hanoi citizens are reported to be healthier than they were because of the availability of exercise equipment right at local parksthe local parts. However, I believe that this measure just improves partially not whole the public’s health.
On the other hand, there is a wide range of measuresconducts to preventprevents poor health conditions. Improving diet quality is one of the effective measures that should not be neglected. Good physical healthA good physical health depends onis indeed contributed by many elements, and a nutrient-rich dieta full nutrient meal makes peopleconsumers stronger and morestrongly resistant to some diseases. In Vietnam, there used to be a program of introducing milk into daily meals to prevent malnutrition in childrendeter malnutrition for children. After 2 years of implementingconducting this campaign, the number of underweight children was minimised noticeably. Therefore, I completely advocate the implementation of other solutionsother solutions to implement to protectwarrant the public’s general health.
In conclusion, although launching more sports facilities would benefit the overall health of citizens, I think that this matter could be addressed better by other methods.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response has a clear structure, discusses both views, and maintains a consistent preference for broader health measures, supported by relevant examples. Its main limitation is frequent inaccurate wording and grammar, including malformed clauses and unnatural collocations, which reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to build accurate sentence patterns first and then select natural vocabulary for causes, measures, and health outcomes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed, the opinion remains clear, and each side receives relevant explanation and an example.
Develop the comparison more critically by explaining why diet measures would outperform additional facilities at population level.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph progression is clear and cohesive devices make the contrasting views easy to follow.
Use less mechanical transition language and make the reasoning within the first body paragraph more tightly connected.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritise natural combinations such as increase oxygen supply, local parks, balanced meal, and implement solutions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but agreement, article, clause, and sentence-construction errors recur.
Practise complete cause-and-effect sentences and check subject-verb agreement, articles, and passive structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.