It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many artists or football players claim that their talent is innatetalent is of genetic origin. They did not have to learn music or sportssport to become that talented. Having said that, a growing number of people believe that any child can be the best chess player or the fastest swimmer in the world as long as they receiveas long as he receives the right teaching and proper direction. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion.
First and foremost, many believe that any child can be a geniusgenius one. It is only about how much his parents are paying attention to his needs and what they dowhat do they do to develop these hobbies. For example, a psychology professor agreed with his wife to raise their children as books on child development and psychologythe books of development and psychology say, and now their daughter is the second best chess player in the world.
Supporters of training argue thatIn my view, it all starts from home when a mother tries to show her baby various options and different areas of play. Therefore, he will identify the available components around him and try to discover his own interests. As children grow upAs the children grow up, they need continuous support and encouragement to keep their chosen hobbykeep his certain hobby, such as music, more developed. This will not happen without professional help to have the highly skilled performerfamous talented artist at the end. HoweverOn the contrary, there is a common belief that many celebrities are famous because they were born with specific talents, not becausespecific talents not because they were taught to practice these talents.
To sum up, I strongly believe that whethereither born talented or not, any person can be whatever he wants through continuous hard workonly by the continuous hard work and practice, not by genetics.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a definite opinion and uses clear paragraphs to explain how teaching, family support, and practice can develop talent. However, the innate-talent view is introduced only briefly and late, so the required discussion is unbalanced and the progression becomes blurred. The highest-priority improvement is to devote a separate, fully developed body paragraph to each view before stating and justifying the final judgement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses teaching and gives an opinion, but the view that talent is innate receives limited development and appears late.
Give one full body paragraph to each view before presenting your own judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphs, but paragraph three combines your opinion with the opposing view, which blurs progression.
Separate discussion of the two views and use topic sentences that match the task.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate, though some collocations are unnatural and a few phrases are too absolute.
Use more precise terms such as "innate ability", "coaching", "practice", and "training environment".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex sentences, but question-word order, pronoun agreement, and article use are inconsistent.
Review embedded questions and keep pronouns consistent when referring to children in general.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.