The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
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Sample Response
The bar graph illustrates the amount of spare time enjoyed by males and femalesmale and female with different employment status - full-time employed, part-time employed, unemployed, retired, and housewives.
Overall, unemployed and retired men and women enjoyed the highestsignificant amount of leisure time in comparison to full-time employed peoplefull-time employeed where men had more leisure time than womenmen outnumbered women across those three sectors. Meanwhile, only part-time female workers and housewives were recorded enjoying free timeOnly part-time female workers and housewives observed to enjoy the free time and no data was recorded for males in those categoriesthere is zero figure for male in those categories.
The amount of leisure time enjoyed by unemployed and retired malesThe number of unemployed and retired male who enjoyed the leisure time stood at approximately 85 and 83 hours per week, respectively,accounted for approximately 84 and 83, respectively while figures for females stoodwhere female stood only at around 79 for both categories. A similar trendSimilar trend was observed in full-time employment with the figure for maleswith figure for male recorded at around 44 and around 37 hours for females38 for female.
In contrast, data was recorded only for female part-time workers and housewivesonly the figure for part-time female workforce and housewives were recorded who enjoyed leisure time. The number for housewives enjoying spare time was recordedrecored at 50 while part-time employed women hadpart-time women employeed recorded at the lowest point of 40.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report effectively highlights key data points and trends from the bar chart, providing a clear overall comparison between categories. However, frequent grammatical inaccuracies and spelling errors hinder the fluency of the text. To raise the score, focus on correcting basic word-formation errors and refining passive verb structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies main trends and reports data for all categories, though some comparisons in the overview could be phrased more precisely.
Ensure all overview statements are clear and explicitly frame the comparisons across all employment groups.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into an overview and detailed body paragraphs, maintaining a broad progression throughout.
Use more natural transition signals and linking phrases to connect data points smoothly between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient vocabulary range is used to describe data trends, but repeating spelling mistakes and incorrect word forms are noticeable.
Review spelling patterns and ensure correct grammatical forms are used when discussing gender groups.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While a variety of structure types is attempted, grammatical errors such as missing auxiliary verbs and incorrect subject-verb agreement occur frequently.
Practice forming complete passive voice sentences and check subject-verb agreement in complex clauses.