The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Sample Response
The line graph describes data about the numberamount of people for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 andto 2020. Overall, the number of people joining the martial arts clubjoining martial arts club and Film club remained stable. In addition, a significantThen, A significant increase could be seen in the number of people playing table tennis and attending musical performancesnumber of playing table tennis people and joining in musical performances club people. Moreover, there was a marked drop in the number of participants for amateurAmateur dramatics. The number of people taking part in film club remained steady atand approximately 65 from 2000 to 2020. At the same time, the number of participants for martial arts fluctuated between approximately 30 and 38between approximately 30 to 47. In contrast, at first the number of people joining amateur dramaticsjoining in Amateur dramatics grew gently after which it saw a substantial declineafter which saw a substantial decline from 2005 to 2020. The musical performances may open in 2005 because nobody participate in this activity before 2005. Thus, the number of people taking part in musical performances experienced a steady risehad a steep surge from 0 to roughly 20 over the 15 years. Finally, the number of participants for playing table tennis rose slightly from 16 to 20 between 2000 and 2005 before remaining steady until 2010remained unchanged from 2000 to 2010 before rising sharply and reaching roughly 54reaching a peak of 55 in 2020.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report successfully identifies all key trends across the five activities and includes a clear overall overview. However, performance is reduced by inaccurate data reporting for table tennis between 2000 and 2010, speculative phrasing regarding why musical performances began in 2005, and repetitive, ungrammatical noun structures. To improve, focus on describing trends strictly from the visual data without introducing outside assumptions, while refining noun phrase word order and prepositions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report covers all main trends and presents a clear overview, though it includes a speculative explanation for why musical performances began in 2005.
Stick strictly to describing the data shown without inventing reasons or speculating about external causes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically into clear paragraphs, providing a straightforward progression across the overview and detailed body.
Improve linking words and punctuation so transitions between sentence ideas feel more seamless and natural.
Lexical Resource
A varied vocabulary for describing trends is used, but phrases like 'amount of people' and 'playing table tennis people' show awkward word choice.
Use standard countable phrasing such as 'number of participants' or 'table tennis players' instead of reordering participial phrases unnaturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Errors in subject-verb agreement, capitalization, and complex noun structure occur throughout the text.
Practice constructing noun phrases with prepositions or relative clauses, such as 'the number of people who played table tennis'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.