The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the number of participants indescribes data about the number of people for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020. Overall, the number of people joining the martial arts club and Film club remained stable. In addition, a significant increase could be seen in the number of people playing table tennis and attending musical performances. Moreover, there was a marked drop in the number of participants in amateur dramaticsparticipants for Amateur dramatics. The number of people taking part in film club remained steady at approximately 65 from 2000 to 2020. At the same time, the number of participants for martial arts fluctuated between approximately 30 andto 37. In contrast, at first the number of people joining amateur dramaticsjoining in Amateur dramatics grew gently after which, it saw a substantial declineafter which it saw a substantial decline from 2005 to 2020. Then, the number of people taking part in musical performances rose steadilyhad a steep surge from 0 to roughly 20 between 2005 and 2020over the 15 years. Finally, the number of participants for playing table tennis rose slightly to 20 before remaining stable until 2010remained unchanged from 2000 to 2010 before rising sharply and reaching a peak of 55 in 2020.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response successfully provides a clear overview and accurate report of the main trends across all five activities shown in the line graph. Information is organized logically into appropriate paragraphs with a good range of vocabulary for describing trends. To reach a higher standard, ensure exact accuracy in key figures and refine mechanical linking words to ensure smoother paragraph transitions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends are clearly highlighted and supported by accurate visual data across the given time frame.
Ensure precise reporting for data points that undergo minor changes, such as the slight initial rise in table tennis between 2000 and 2005.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing and an effective progression of ideas.
Vary sentence starters beyond simple transition words like then and finally to make paragraph transitions feel more natural.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of trend vocabulary is used accurately to convey rises, falls, and stability.
Refine word combinations to avoid redundant phrasing, such as writing participants playing table tennis instead of table tennis participants.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is produced with high grammatical accuracy throughout.
Pay careful attention to prepositions following verbs, such as using join instead of join in.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.