The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Sample Response
The line graph describes data about the number of participants in differentpeople for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020. Overall, the number of people joining the martial arts club and Film club remained stable. In additionattention, a significant increase could be seen in the number of people playing table tennis and attending musical performances. Moreover, there was a marked drop in the number of participants in amateurparticipants for Amateur dramatics. The number of people taking part in film club remained steady at approximately 65 from 2000 to 2020. At the same time, the number of participants for martial arts fluctuated between approximately 30 andto 37. In contrast, at first the number of people joining amateur dramaticsjoining in Amateur dramatics grew gently after which it saw a substantial decline from 2005 to 2020. The musical performances may open in 2005 because nobody participate in this activity before 2005. Thus, the number of people taking part in musical performances had a steep surge from 0 to roughly 20 over the 15 years. Finally, the number of participants in table tennisparticipants for playing table tennis rose slightly from around 16 in 2000 to 20 in 2010remained unchanged from 2000 to 2010 before rising sharply and reaching a peak of 55 in 2020.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report effectively highlights all main visual trends with a clear overview and strong descriptive vocabulary for data changes. However, speculative assumptions about why data points started later and minor inaccuracies in specific figure details weaken the precision. Prioritize reporting objective visual data without introducing external explanations or incorrect data ranges.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends are covered with a clear overview, but the report includes speculative explanations for missing data and slight visual misreadings.
Stick strictly to describing the data shown on the chart rather than guessing the reasons behind figures or missing data.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into distinct paragraphs, though transitioning devices are occasionally misused or unnatural.
Use standard linking expressions like 'In addition' instead of incorrect phrases like 'In attention' to ensure seamless logical transitions.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of trend vocabulary is deployed appropriately to describe increases, decreases, and stability.
Refine word partnerings and prepositions, such as using 'participate in' rather than 'join in' or 'number of participants in'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex sentence structures is used, but grammatical errors in tense, verb agreement, and modal usage occur.
Maintain past tense consistency when referencing completed historical data from past years.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.