The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
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Sample Response
The graph providesprovideas a visual representation of the number of participants for various activities at Melbourne'sMelbourn's social centre in Australia between the years 2000 and 2020.
Overall, the numberOverall, number of participants in the martial arts and the film club reported stable changes. The statistics reported a marked increase in the attendance for the table tennis and the music performance. This is in sharp contrast with the amateur dramatic, which showed a considerableconsidereble drop in number by the year 2020.
The film club remains at the highest peak of the graph with around 60 to 66 participantsover 70 participants. Slight fluctuationfluctuage has been reported in the number of participants for the martial arts. In 2020 the number rebounded to itsit's highest level with nearly 40 individuals. The table tennis showed athe sharp rise in 2010, from roughly 20 to around 54 participantsto 60 participants by the year 2020theyear 202. In addition, reporting of the attendeesjoiners for the music performances began in 2005. The number startedNumber strated to rise gradually, reaching itsit's intermediate peak, up to 20 participantsparticipant, in 2020. In contrast, the amateur dramatic illustrated a slight rise in number between 2000 and 2005sharp drop in number in 2005. In 2010, the graph intersectedinstercetted with the amateur dramatics line, before continuing to fall rapidly, to no more than 10 individuals, by the end of 2020.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay successfully outlines the key trends from the line graph and presents a clear overall summary of activity attendance. However, its effectiveness is hindered by several data reporting inaccuracies, such as misstating specific figures and years, along with noticeable spelling and grammatical errors. To improve, focus on double-checking chart data points carefully before writing and refining basic subject-verb agreement and word forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the main trends and provides an overview, but contains minor data inaccuracies such as misquoting table tennis figures and reporting dates incorrectly.
Verify key figures and dates against the prompt image carefully before finalizing details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized into paragraphs with a clear overview, though transition usage and sentence connections are occasionally clumsy.
Use logical cohesive devices to link trend observations smoothly across paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A range of vocabulary is attempted, but frequent spelling errors and incorrect word forms reduce precision.
Review spelling of common vocabulary and ensure words are used in their correct grammatical forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is used, but grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement, articles, and punctuation occur frequently.
Proofread sentences to ensure correct subject-verb agreement and proper article usage.