You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks, you realised there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter: - explain why you took the job - describe the problems that you experienced - suggest what could be done about them

Same questionCompare 10 different answers (Band 6–7.5)

Sample Response

1

Dear Mr Harris, I am a part-time call centre operator at your company and started working about four weeks ago.I am a part-time call centre operator at your company, started working about 4 weeks ago. I am writing to raiseindicate some of the problems I encountered during my work. I hope that you willI am hoping that you would investigate these issues and resolve them. I decided to take the position of telesales specialist because I wantedwant to develop a career in the digital sales industry. Besides, it offers flexible timing and fits around my class scheduledoes not contradict my class schedule. After starting, however, I realisedHowever, I realised there are some obstacles that need your intervention. The problems started almost a fortnight ago when the system administrator updated my computer's operating system. A few days ago, while I was querying a customer for her personal data, my computer restarted, and this person’s profile was lostmy computer restarted and this person’s profile was lost. This occurred several times afterwards. I asked the system administrator to solve it, but he has not yet resolved ithe did nothing about it! The software that manages our calls often deliversdeliver far more calls per hour than we can handle. The person in charge did not listen to our request and asked us to contact you. I believe that the system administrator should be asked to explain his negligenceshould be show caused due to his negligence and the call flow should be adjusted to a realistic levelthe call-flow should be rational. More calls demotivate us and do not necessarily mean more sales.More calls demotivate us do not mean more sales. Sincerely yours, Ben Flip

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The letter fully explains the reason for taking the job, gives specific examples of both workplace problems, and proposes action, so its purpose is clear. Its main weakness is presentation: the single dense paragraph, uneven grammar, and sometimes blunt or unnatural business language reduce professionalism. Prioritise clear paragraphing and polite, practical recommendations, supported by carefully checked sentence structure and natural workplace phrasing.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

The letter fully addresses the purpose: it explains why the job was taken, describes two relevant workplace problems, and suggests solutions. The suggestions are clear but sometimes too blunt or imprecise for a manager.

Next step

Keep the specific evidence about the computer and call-flow problems, but phrase the requested action as practical managerial recommendations.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The letter progresses logically from introduction to reasons, problems, and proposed remedies. Paragraphing is absent, and some links such as “Besides” and “However” are mechanical, so the reader has to work through a dense block.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for reason for taking the job, technical problems, call-volume problems, and suggested actions.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Workplace vocabulary is adequate and sometimes precise, such as “telesales specialist” and “system administrator”. Some collocations and word forms are inaccurate, including “contradict my class schedule”, “show caused”, and “call-flow should be rational”.

Next step

Use natural business phrases such as “fit around my class schedule”, “be asked to explain”, and “call volume should be adjusted”.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

Meaning is generally clear, but grammatical accuracy is uneven. Errors occur in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, passive forms, and missing conjunctions.

Next step

Check each clause for a clear subject and verb, especially in the opening sentence and the final recommendation sentence.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks, you realised there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter:

- explain why you took the job

- describe the problems that you experienced

- suggest what could be done about them

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.