You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks, you realised there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter: - explain why you took the job - describe the problems that you experienced - suggest what could be done about them

Same questionCompare 10 different answers (Band 6–7.5)

Sample Response

1

Dear Mrs Jeeni,Dear Mrs Jeeni: I joined your companyI have joined your company as a part-time employee a few weeks ago and I am gratefulindebted for the opportunity you have bestowed on me. I took the job to finish my internship - which is a requirement to complete my Bachelor'sBachelor degree. However, some issues are affecting my worksome challenges are impeding our work performance and I need your help to solve them. During my first few weeksDuring this short span of my work, I have noticed some problems that are obstacles to the overall progress of the company. To start with, I help other data analysts with different data from various sources as per the requirement. I have to collect the same data repeatedlycollect the same data many times. The main reason behind this redundant work is the lack of MIS reporting software and a solid database system. We could gain many benefitsWe can avail many benefits by using MIS reporting softwareusing that type of software. It would both ensure better performance of employees and data security. Moreover, we have to take our lunch outside and this kills our valuable time. Lunch arrangedarrange by the office would ensure hygienic meals and save our timewould ensure hygienic meals, and save our time which we could better utilise in the office. Therefore, I request you to implement MIS software for our office, which would be a prudent long-term investmenta really prudent investment in the long run. Besides, please arrange lunch for the employees as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Safayet Ullah

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The letter addresses the job's purpose, identifies two relevant workplace problems, and proposes practical remedies with generally effective professional vocabulary. Its impact is reduced by the single-block presentation, repeated language errors, and explanations that are not always grounded in the writer's own experience; organise the three required points into separate paragraphs, frame each problem personally, and make the requests specific and natural.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.5
Scoring rule

The letter explains the internship reason, identifies data duplication and lunch problems, and suggests MIS software plus office lunch arrangements. The response is relevant, but the complaint would be stronger if the problems were tied more directly to the writer's own part-time experience.

Next step

Frame each problem from your position as a new part-time worker, then make the requested actions specific and realistic.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The content has a clear logical order, but it is written as one long block and the opening punctuation after the greeting is incorrect for a letter format.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for the reason for taking the job, the problems, and the requested solutions.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is generally effective, with terms such as 'internship', 'database system', and 'data security', but some collocations are unnatural or overly broad.

Next step

Use natural workplace phrases such as 'use MIS software', 'duplicate the same data collection', and 'provide lunch at the office'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

Meaning is clear, but there are repeated tense, article, and word-form errors, especially in the opening and the lunch request.

Next step

Proofread verb tense in the opening and check noun phrases such as 'Bachelor's degree' and 'Lunch arranged by the office'.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks, you realised there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter:

- explain why you took the job

- describe the problems that you experienced

- suggest what could be done about them

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.