Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Sample Response
It is true that many countries of this world are facing different types of problems especially they have the lack of food and appropriate education. It is frequently believed that it is the responsibility of richer countriesthe responsibility of the richer country to provide these basic things to poorer countriesto the poorer country. However, this view is disputedthis serious issue is refuted by others. These arguments will be analysed prior to coming to a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, today, many believehold the idea that it is the moral dutymoral and ethical duty of the wealthier nations to help the developing countries thatwho are facing many problemsconfronting the many problems such as war, famine, drought, lack of food and adequate educationappropriate education system etc. For instance, some countries, particularly Afghanistan and Iraqmany countries, Afghanistan and Iraq in particular, have serious problemsproblem with these issues. Many people inof these countries are living without enough food. Moreover, the governments of these countries lack sufficient fundsdon’t have ample amount of money to build a suitable education system for their people. This example makes it clear that these countries would not be able to recover from these difficult conditionsimprove from this miserable condition without help. That is why many people believe that aid is indispensable for these poor countries. On the other hand, it is felt by many that the governments of the poorer countries should solve these seriousdangerous problems for many reasons. Firstly, when the richer country gives money as a support for the poorer country, they also want to control the regimes of the poor countries, which may have brought the catastrophic effect on the underdeveloped country. Secondly, the administration of the poorer nation is inexperiencednot so experienced, so it may not be ablethey maybe not able to properly utilise these supported things. Finally, most governments of poorer countries are corruptgovernments of the poorer countries are corrupted, so there is a great risk to misuse these supported things. For these reasons, many are against this ideaagainst of this idea. In conclusion, after conducting these analyses, it is clear that both points of view have logical arguments. However, in my opinion, the governments of the poorer countries should take the responsibility of their people. Otherwise, the richer country will control the poorer country.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay discusses both positions and supports them with relevant concerns about humanitarian need, political influence, administrative capacity, and corruption. Its main limitation is that the whole response is compressed into one paragraph and frequent errors make several claims imprecise, despite generally clear meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the opposing views structurally and develop the final preference with a more balanced explanation of how poorer governments could assume responsibility.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are developed with relevant reasons and an example, and the conclusion gives a clear preference for poorer governments taking responsibility.
Explain how poorer governments could meet that responsibility despite limited funds, rather than relying mainly on the risk of foreign control.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable introduction, two-sided discussion, and conclusion, but the lack of paragraph breaks and mechanical sequencing weaken presentation.
Separate the introduction, each viewpoint, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clearer links between reasons and consequences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for discussing aid and governance, with some effective less common items, but frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Use accurate phrases such as 'a lack of food', 'financial assistance', 'use the aid effectively', and 'corrupt governments'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, although frequent errors with articles, plurals, agreement, and verb forms are evident throughout.
Check noun agreement and verb phrases, especially 'wealthier countries provide', 'have serious problems', and 'may not be able to use'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.